Not To Be Trusted With Knives











{January 9, 2009}   Ouch

I slipped on an icy sidewalk on the way to work this morning:IMG_4488 by you.

What makes it even worse was that I *just* bought those nylons!  And they weren’t cheap!  Fortunately, they were thigh highs, so I only have to replace one leg and not throw out the whole pair.  And now my left knee can have a nice scar to match my right knee. Besides, it definitely could have been worse – one of my co-workers slipped on the ice in the parking lot on the way into work this morning and broke her ankle!

Also, in the interest of full disclosure,  I would like to point out that even though I scraped the hell out of my knee, I did manage to not spill my coffee.  One my keep their priorities straight.

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{August 28, 2008}   Knee Injury Update

Today on the bus, a guy tapped me on the shoulder1 and said, “You know what would clear that knee up? Turmeric. You know, the spice?” Um, ok. I actually thought my knee was healing quite nicely.

One day after the epic knee scraping

One day after the epic knee scraping

After 13 days of healing

After 13 days of healing

And really, what would help it clear up is refraining from picking at the scab2.

1I was listening to my iPod at the time, so he to do this to get my attention.
2Too much information?



{August 16, 2008}   I have 20/20 vision
Heading out for post-op check up the morning following my laser eye surgery.

Heading out for post-op check up the morning following my laser eye surgery. Don't you love my sunglasses?

Went for my post-op check up this morning and the technician checked my vision.  “You have 20/20 vision,” he said, “And it’s only going to get better from here.

It truly is mind-blowing.  I keep having to remind myself “I’m not wearing contacts.”  My brain is all “this is no big deal, I see this well all the time because I wear contact lens.”  And then I remind myself that I’m not wearing contacts.  And then I start looking around very carefully going “Oh my god, I can read that sign!  I can distinguish EVERY SINGLE LEAF ON THAT TREE!”  I’m actually really excited to go to sleep so I can wake up in the morning and look across the room and see my alarm clock.  I’m sure this makes absolutely no sense to those of you who don’t wear glasses, but it really is these simple things that make all the difference!

And the fact that I am now free.  I’m free from annoying glasses that fog up in the cold/get in the way/make me look ugly.  And I’m free from having to put contacts in every day/worry about losing a contact/remember to bring glasses & contact case when I stay over at someone’s house.  I’m free free free free free.  Well, except that I’m a slave to eye drops for the next two weeks (I had to put drops in 22 different times today!), but that’s a fairly minor price to pay.

Oh yes, and I’d like to state for the record that LASIK eye surgery was absolutely pain free.  Even the part where they slice your cornea (thank you anesthetic drops!) and when they vaporize parts of your eye with the laser.  The only thing I didn’t like was the part where they apply suction to your eye.  They do this right before the cornea slicing and my guess is that it is to puff out your cornea to make the slicing easier.  But holy crap, it’s a weird sensation.  Imagine putting a really, really strong vacuum cleaner right on your eyeball.  It didn’t last very long, but I really did not like it.  Thankfully, my surgeon has a very soothing British voice and kept saying, “You are doing perfect,” and “it’s almost over,” and “you are going to hear a buzzing noise now” (OK, that last part wasn’t too soothing.  But, as I’ve said, cutting of cornea = completely painless.  And the suction on the second eye wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as the first one, probably because I was prepared for it.  It was such an unfamiliar sensation the first time.  Blarggh!

The whole surgery took about 10 mins and at the end, when I opened my eyes I thought, “Oh my god, I can see that technician’s face!  I can see his face!”

Anyhoodle, my eyes are getting kinda dry from all this looking at the computer screen, so I’m going to hit the hay.  But I’ll leave you with some photos of the damage I did when I took a spectacular fall for absolutely no reason, just outside Cafe Artigiano, on my way to the surgery.  Warning: not for the squeamish!

Took this shot with my camera phone.  Notice profuse bleeding.

Took this shot with my camera phone. Notice profuse bleeding.

This is my knee today. Notice profuse bleeding has stopped, giving way to disgusting mangledness.

Also managed to scrape my foot during the fall.

And my toe. I told you it was a spectacular fall!

And now I’m off to bed.  Wearing these wicked awesome eye shields! You can just call me “Sleeping Beauty”!

Eye shields to keep me from rubbing my eyes while I sleep. I look like an alien.

Eye shields to keep me from rubbing my eyes while I sleep. I look like an alien. Or a bug. Or an alien bug.



{June 10, 2008}   Beth fall down go boom

So I’m leaving the theatre after watching a sneak preview of Young People Fucking1 with Kalev2 yesterday and I feel the heel of my super sexy boots slide right out from under me. And I try to not fall, which only succeeds in extending the length, extravagance and (I’m sure to the onlooker) hilarity, of the fall. And I scraped my knee. =(

And here is the culprit:

The little rubber piece on the heel is totally worn away. As it turns out, beneath the little rubber piece on your heel is some sort of uber-slippery plastic. Which, when it comes in contact with a slick movie theatre lobby floor, makes it like you are walking on a sheet of black ice. =(

I suppose I need to take the boots in to have them re-heeled. It seems like I have to do that a lot. Case in point: I bought my shiny black heels just over a year ago and had to have them re-heeled about 6 months after buying them, as the little rubber piece had been completely worn away. (And it’s not like I wear them *every* day. I’d say I wear this pair about 2-3 days per week). And now, they need re-heeling again:

The rubber piece on the heel is so worn away that the little metal posts inside the heel is exposed!

Needing re-heeling on a pair of shoes twice in 15 months seems rather excessive to me. I was telling my friend Alicia about this today and she says that she has the same problem. “It’s because you actually walk places!” she said. People who drive places don’t really wear out their heels because they barely walk on them. Bus riders like us walk several blocks from bus stop to office and so wear out our shoes. Which make sense, I guess. And it’s nice to know that I’m not the only heel-wearing-out freak. But now I feel like I should take a poll.

What about you, my heel-wearing blog readers? How long do your shoes last before you wear out your heels?

1An absolutely fabulous movie, btw, which you should all go and see. Hilarious! Srsly, watch the preview.
2 That’s “Young People Fucking,” that I watched with Kalev3 . Not to be mistaken for “Young People Fucking with Kalev.” That, I hear, will be the sequel.
3Did I mention that Kalev acquired the pass to said sneak preview? No? Damn, I better revise this posting so he doesn’t bitch me out for not mentioning him! =P



Oh well, it’s better than the times I accidentally stabbed myself in the finger with hypodermic needles in the lab.



et cetera