Not To Be Trusted With Knives

{September 27, 2008}   Hockey Hotties – Now With Photos!

In preparation for this afternoon’s hockey pool draft, I decided I should figure out what position all the hotties on my list actually play, given that we need to have one goalie and to pick a certain number of defenseman. And then I thought I should have photos of these boys handy to help me to decide during the draft. Here is the result of that research!

Rick DiPietro, NY Islanders
Mikko Koivu, Minnesota Wild
Taylor Pyatt, Vancouver Canucks
Left Wing

(note: scores points for his pretty blue eyes)

Zach Parise, NJ Devils

Zach Parise by jenkang75

Left Wing 24 No
Scottie Upshall, Philadelphia FlyersScottie Upshall by neat1325Scottie Upshall by neat1325 Right wingloses points for going by the name “Scottie” 24 No
Brendan Morrison, Anaheim Ducksbrendan%20morrison.jpg Centre 33 hell no
Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh Penguins Centre 21 hell yeah
Mattias Ohlund, Vancouver CanucksOhlundNewCanucksJersey.jpg Defense 32 No
Mike Comrie, NY Islanders Centre 28 No
Benoit Pouliot, Minnesota WildMe610x.jpg Left Wing 21 Yup
Vincent Lecavalier, Tampa Bay Lightning2787753030077758815 by kaatiya Centre 28 No
Mark Bell, Toronto Maple Leafsbell_headshot.jpg Left Wing 28 No, but apparently he has recently been in jail
Jarome Iginla, Calgary FlamesJarome Iginla by Dinur Right Wing 31 No
Paul Gaustad, Buffalo SabresGoose in Black and White by valorfaerie Centre 26 No
Martin St. Louis, Tampa Bay Lightning


Right Wing 33 No
Martin Biron, Philadelphia FlyersMe and Martin Biron by valorfaerieMartin Biron by valorfaerie Goalie 31 No
Joffrey Lupul, Philadelphia FlyersJoffrey Lupul by neat1325Joffrey Lupul is Bringing Sexy Back. by Alipyon Right Wing 25 No
Derek Roy, Buffalo SabresMMM, Derek Roy;) by Alygirl20 Centre 25 No
Brad Isbister, Ottawa SenatorsBrad Isbister by John Bollwitt Left Wing 31 No
Markus Naslund, New York RangersMarkus Naslund Models the Vancouver Canucks' New Uniform by sillygwailo Left Wing 35 Nu uh
Georges Laraque, Montreal CanadiensGeorges by ztil301 Right Wing 31 No
Kris Letang, Pittsburgh Penguins080228 Kris Letang by Dan4th Defense 21 Uh, yeah
Mike Komisarek, Montreal Canadiens

Mike Komisarek.jpg

Defense 26 No
Josh Gorges, Montreal Canadiens

Josh Gorges 4-15-06.jpgJosh Gorges by pointnshoot.

Defense 24 No
Jason Pominville, Buffalo Sabres

Jason Pominville

Right Wing 25 No
Jonathan Toews, Chicago Blackhawks

Jonathan Toews by dtkindler

Centre 20 Indeed
Patrick Kane, Chicago Blackhawks

Right Wing 19 Yikes!
Dustin Brown, LA Kings

Dustin Brown by nicholeglaze

Left Wing 23 No. Just squeaks by the cutoff age!
Carey Price, Montreal Canadiens

Goalie 20 Yes
Sheldon SoSheldon Sourayuray, Edmonton Oilers Defense 32 No
Craig Rivet, Buffalo Sabres

Craig Rivet by Dinur

Defense 34 No

Thanks to all the wonderful readers who suggested hockey hotties for me to consider.

I’ll be sure to let y’all know who ends up on my team o’hotties!

1Where “jailbait” = below my cougar age
2Out of curiosity, given that all the suggesters were not my usual commenters – how did you find my blog?.

Image credits:

(Yer footnotes got tangled up, a href -wise)

Beth says:

Thanks for the heads up, Jan! I fixed it now!

(Nope, still off. The address is in the title attribute, should have been in the href attribute)

Kelly says:

You are SO funny. This is the greatest idea ever.
Lecavalier is a full 28? What a pleasant surprise. I thought he was much younger. I can now fantasize about him without that sick pervey cougar feeling.
I creep your blog all the time. I found it years ago through a link on JB’s blog. Which he never updates anymore.

jacks says:

alright dr. beth the alphablogess, i don’t want to have to take kalev’s side on the hockey matter, but i might have to suggest that hockey players are not attractive. i know, i know. don’t hit me. but i come from a place where there were two kinds of girls: girls who didn’t like hockey players and girls that got pregnant by hockey players. so let’s just say that it might be a case of lingering self-preservation. 😉 anyhoo, i support your love of hockey (mostly cause you are badass and play it and have little to no chance of getting me preggers) but if you want hot men in sport, i would suggest soccer. i’m just sayin’.

DTK says:

Hey, great to see my photo of Johnnie Toews up here. I took it at the Rookie of the Year celebration for Patrick Kane – thus all the kids in Kane T-shirts instead of Toews.

If your Aggies hockey team ever gets to Chicago, my house league team is ready for you!


Beth says:

@Jan – Weird! I was using the visual editor in WP, not sure how they ended up being screwed up like that. But now, it’s fixed. For real! Promise!

@Kelly – Yeah, why does JB never update his blog? I’m glad you found my blog through his, because now you can fantasize about Lecavalier in peace. But that doesn’t absolve JB of his ongoing blogging duties!!

@Jacks, Jacks, Jacks. What red-blooded Canadian heterosexual woman can look at that photo of Rick DiPietro and not want to jump him? Or Mikko!! Or Taylor Pyatt and his pretty, pretty blue eyes!!!

@DTK – Thanks for sharing your photo of JT under a Creative Commons license. I was wondering why all the kids around him were wearing Kane jerseys!! And I’ll see if I can convince the Aggies to head out east – if I can, it’s game on with your house league team!!

[…] politics or Canada or, like, democracy and such, I shall return to other hard hitting issues, like how hot Rick DiPetro, goalie for the NY Islanders is, after Tuesday.  […]

Kalev says:

It’s so good that Jackie is properly appreciative of soccer hotties, who beat hockey hotties hands-down. And what’s with the drool over this DiPietro person? Some of the others are hot, granted, but he doesn’t seem very special. You need a better photo to convince me.

And SERIOUSLY, Naslund?! Are people blind?

But yeah, honestly, you gotta get into men’s gymnastic, diving, and swimming. MUCH better!

[…] To Be Trusted With Knives {October 23, 2008}   The Rick DiPietro Report My recent investigation on hotness levels of NHL players1 has opened my eyes to the fact that there are apparently hot NHL hockey players that […]

chuancy says:

jordan staal #11 for pit needs to be added

[…] she was partying with Dainius Zubrus and Zach Parise that night.  Parise, as it happens, is on my hockey hotties list and it looks like Zubrus needs to be added to my […]

[…] she was partying with Dainius Zubrus and Zach Parise that night.  Parise, as it happens, is on my hockey hotties list and it looks like Zubrus needs to be added to my […]

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