Not To Be Trusted With Knives











{April 7, 2008}   Hockey in Sin City

Just got in from Vegas. Typed up the following on the plane, posting it and now going to fall into my bed:

Typing this out on my Palm Treo 1on the plane home from my hockey tournament in Vegas. Yup, that’s where I disappeared to. Figured the blogosphere could survive a few days without me. Also, wasn’t organized enough to be ready to leave on Thursday with enough time to write a blog posting before I left. Hope no one was *too* worried about me.

We were about a half an hour late leaving Vegas because, according to the captain, they “didn’t expect all this sports equipment and now the centre of gravity is off, so we need to fix it.” At first they said they were going to move the luggage around2, but then they decided to load an extra 1000 lbs of fuel into the auxillary tank to balance out the plane3. They said that was easier than moving luggage4 and passengers around. Also, the flight attendant is drunk5.

I’d love to tell you about the hockey tournament itself, but you know the rule: hockey scores that happen in Vegas, stay in Vegas. Let’s just say we had a perfect record in our 3 games. On a totally unrelated topic, if you would like to win hockey games, I don’t recommend passing a 40 around the dressing room immediately before the game, especially if half your team didn’t go to bed the night before. Likewise, sitting in a parking lot drinking in the desert sun for 5 hours between games, also not a good strategy. I’m just sayin’.

OK, my thumbs are getting sore from typing this out on my tiny Treo keyboard and I’m missing out on some prime napping time here, so I’ll have to regale you with further tales of a hockey team in Sin City tomorrow when I’m home.

1Note to self: buy full-sized keyboard that attaches to Treo for typing anything longer than 140 characters.
2Um, didn’t they see the 10 hockey bags *before* they loaded the luggage? Did it not occur to them that perhaps they should have loaded them on in balanced fashion *when* they were loading them onto the plane?
3Because, you know, who doesn’t love flying around with an extra 1000 lbs of highly flammable and explosive jet fuel?
4Not sure how they would move passengers around when the plane is full. What are they going to say “Skinny passengers to the right, fat people to the left”?
5We don’t know for sure that she’s drunk, but she sounds like she is. I’m pretty sure she just told us that the cabin air had been pasteurized.

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So, I was wondering all day why no one commented on my engaging tale of the 12 Bars of Christmas. I get the comments on my blog emailed to me, so I didn’t look at the blog itself – just didn’t get any emailed comments. And just now when I went to write a new posting, I discovered that, although I finished writing the posting yesterday, I didn’t actually click “publish.” D’oh! Guess that kind of absentmindedness is a sign that perhaps one shouldn’t go to 12 bars in one night. Anyway, here’s the posting:

So, I have a confession to make. I did not successfully complete the 12 Bars of Christmas this year! *hangs head in shame*. I made it to all the bars. I sang all the verses of the 12 Days of Christmas at the appropriate times and in the appropriate locations, as per the rules of the 12 Bars. But I was not able to drink a drink at every bar! Well, I suppose I would have been able to, so I probably should say I was unwilling to given that my body was telling me that I needed a break after 8 drinks1.

I think part of the problem as that I couldn’t stick to the same game plan I had last year – which was to stick with a specific drink2 for most bars, with the occasional shot when we got behind schedule and needed to get in and out of a bar really fast. Why couldn’t I stick to that game plan, you ask? Because the 12 Bars got waaaaay too popular! Last year, we started out at Erika & Paul’s place with something like 7 people and then ended up with about 30 by the last bar, as people joined us along the way. This year, we had somewhere around 30 people at the first bar!! By the end, we have no accurate count of participants as friends of friends had joined up and no one really knew who was with us and who were just randoms in the bar. But there had to be over 50 of us by the end. This resulted in two things: (a) we didn’t get to meet as many new people, as you sort of had to stick with your little group in order to not get totally lost in the crowd, and (b) it’s really hard to get a drink at a bar when 30-50 others are also all trying to get a drink in 30 mins3 – somehow always seemed to be the last people served and so had to take a few shots off the start because there wasn’t enough time to drink an actual drink. I think this set a poor tone for the evening!

My night went something like this.

Bar #0 – Erika & Paul’s place (UNOFFICIAL START) – Vodka & Sprite. I agreed to have a drink here. This was my first mistake!

Bar #1 – Las Margarita’s – OFFICIAL START – Jolly Rancher shot. I wanted a margarita here, but by the time we got to the bartender, it was pretty much time to leave, so we had to do a shot.

Bar #2 – Room 18Polar bear shot. Bar #2 was supposed to be Hell’s Kitchen5, makers of the best Amaretto sour at last year’s 12 Bars. When Hell’s Kitchen was called early in the day and asked if they would be open at 4 p.m., they replied “yes.” Apparently “yes” means “no” at Hell’s Kitchen, because when we go there, they weren’t open. So we improvised and went to Room 18 instead. They didn’t want to let us in at first, saying they couldn’t handle 34 people with just one bartender. So we promised that we’d all get the exact same shot and be out in her hair in life 15 minutes, probably the fasted $300 that bar will ever make. So another unplanned shot for me, but a great photo opp!

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Bartender at Room 18 makes 34 Polar bear shots.

Bar #3 – Brown’sAmaretto sour. Finally! Although this one wasn’t like any Amaretto sour I’d had before – it was brown rather than green. Weird.

Bar #4 – Kitsilano RestaurantWhite wine. This is the place where we stop to eat. But it counts as a bar, so we have to drink their too. So I enjoyed a much too full glass of wine with my yam rolls, veggie tempura and teriyaki tofu. About halfway through the wine was when my brain took notice of the unnecessary amount of alcohol to which it was being subjected.

Bar #5 – Tatlow’sSpiced rum & diet Coke6 – I don’t think I have anything special to report about this bar.

Bar #6 – Darby’sAmaretto sour! Yay! Darby’s makes a tasty A.S. And it was green. Making for a very Christmasy photo of red and green drinks.

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Casey shows off our Christmas coloured drinks –
Vodka cran + Amaretto sour.

Bar #7 – Nevermind Spiced rum & diet Coke6 – Unlike it’s sister restaurant, Hell’s Kitchen, Nevermind was open. Unlike last year, where we convinced a #84 Express bus to pick us up and drive us to Nevermind despite the fact that Nevermind is not where the #84 bus is supposed to stop, this year we had to walk all the way to Nevermind. Which, by my calculations, is 872 blocks from Darby’s.

Between bars #7 and #8 is where I officially decided to wuss out. My tummy was telling me that it was sufficiently stocked with alcoholic beverages at the moment and any further deliveries would be returned to sender. So, in the interest of not puking, I decided to skip the drinks at the next two bars.

Bar #8 – Gargoyles – No drink!

Bar #9 – The Fringe – No drink again!

Bar #10 & #11 – Coppertank Spiced rum & diet Coke. We were supposed to go to Elwood’s for Bar #10, but they told us that brinigng 50ish people would put them over capacity, so they wouldn’t let us in. So we decided that Coppertank could have more of our money and decided to stay there for an hour instead of the usual 30 mins, having two drinks (and sing two verses of the 12 Days of Christmas) instead of the usual 1. I felt better enough to have one drink, but decided that I didn’t really need two.

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Beth and Kalev tell us that we are at Bar #10.
Unfortunately, Coppertank counted as 2 bars, I forgot to take a “Bar #11” pic.

Bar #12 – Regal BeagleSpiced rum and diet Coke. And thus ended the 12 Bars.

Bar #13 – Lola’sSpiced rum and diet Coke – In celebration of not having died, we went next door to Lola’s to dance, and make fun of the other patrons fashion choices behind their backs.

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Hooray for Bar #13. Go team!

You can view all the photos here.

1In my defence, I would like to remind everyone that I’m somewhat on the small size. I don’t think 115 lb people are meant to drink 13 drinks!
2In my case, Amaretto sour.
3And the 30 minutes includes travel time between bars. And, given that we were having a blizzard4, travel time was somewhat slower going than one would like.
4To my readers out east: “blizzard” in Vancouver vernacular means “it was snowing out.”
5You may recall Hell’s Kitchen as the location of my brief but celebrated career as a coat check girl.
6I think. If memory serves me, they didn’t have Amaretto here so I had to improvise. But I could be misremembering – memory started to fuzzy for some unidentifiable reason.



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The 12 Bars of Christmas is back!

Next Saturday be on the lookout for a merry band of pub crawlers, singing, drinking and, well, being merry.



{November 14, 2007}   Support My Hockey Team!!

hockeylogo So, speaking of Vegas, want to support my hockey team to play in a tournament there? We are trying to raise enough funds to go to the Lady Luck Cup tournament in Las Vegas in April.

We are doing a fund raising raffle and I need to sell at least $50 worth of tickets (preferably many more than that).

Here’s the 411:

  • Tickets are 1 for $2 or 3 for $5
  • First Prize: a beer fridge full of beer
  • Second Prize: two tickets to a Canucks game
  • Third Prize: a trio of 26ers (probably like rum, vodka and gin, or something like that)

We will be doing the draw at our fundraising pub night on January 19th and you don’t have to be at the pub night to win. I know the prizes aren’t very portable, so for my long distance readers, if you want to buy a ticket or seven and then you win, I could sell the prize and send you the cash!

Wanna buy some raffle tickets? You know you do! Email me: apo_b100 AT hotmail DOT com

P.S. If we raise enough money, I’m sure that my team will get up to all kinds of hijinks in Vegas and I promise to blog said hijinks. I would expect it would be something along the lines of this type of thing. So you could consider buying a raffle ticket to be an investment in your future blog reading enjoyment.

P.P.S. Another fundraiser possibility that we considered, but didn’t have enough time to do this year was a calendar. Sort of the “girls of hockey” kind of thing. Would you buy a calendar of me and my teammates like, for example, wearing our hockey jerseys and looking all cute and suchlike? Just doing a little market research for next year….



Yeah, so, Vegas. It’s a place I went1. And I heard that all y’all wanted to hear about it. So here goes – everything you’ve ever heard about Vegas is true. Overwhelming sights and sounds – check. Oxygen and delightful scents and free drinks pumped into casinos, where there are no clocks/windows/any way of telling how long you’ve been there, to keep you gambling as long as possible – check. People walking the streets with foot tall tubes of booze – check. Guy at the slot machine next to you getting “comped”2 because he lost so much money that the casino is willing to give him a free hotel room so he’ll stay and lose more – check. Giant pyramid with a light shooting off the top that can be seen from outer space – check. People standing on street corners flicking business cards of prostitutes – check.

The one thing that you hear about Vegas that isn’t true – people carrying buckets of coins around. All the slot machines have been changed to run on paper money and when you cash out, they print a ticket that you have to redeem at a cashier’s desk. No coins comes falling down when you win – it’s just credits on the screen – and when the slot machine prints out your little ticket, it makes this lame noise that is supposed to sound like coins falling jdown into the little now-vestigial metal tray at the bottom of the machine. Lame city!! Maybe next time I go to Vegas, I’ll bring my own bucket and put my little paper ticket into my bucket, just to screw with everyone’s head.

Stuff seen in Vegas:

  • Magician comedian who was filling in for Mac King at Harrah’s and whose name escapes me at the moment. Had a pretty funny schtick where he made it look like he’d screwed up the trick and then it would turn out to be a fairly neat trick after all.3
  • Dead bodies.
  • Mamma Mia – the musical based on ABBA songs. I swear, you’d think ABBA wrote their songs for that plot – it’s soooo well constructed.
  • The Blue Man Group. This blew my fucking mind. Like nothing I’ve EVER seen before. OMG, you need to see this. NEED TO!

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Blue Man & Me.
The fact that I wore a blue dress this day is merely coincidental.

Most nauseating thing seen in Vegas:

  • Picture this: You are playing your little $1 chips at the roulette table, mumbling under your breath that the $15 minimum really is too rich for your blood. A man walks up and lays 10 $100 bills on the table and asks for one chip. The dealer carefully counts the money out and hands over a $1000 chip. He lays the chip on black and walks away, doesn’t even watch the little ball spinning around the roulette wheel. The little ball lands on red. Bye-bye $1000! Then he does the same thing again – another 10 $100 bills, another $1000 chip on black and another loss. Then, just for good measure, he plays $100 on splitting the zeros and loses again. It seriously made me feel sick. If someone is willing to part with $2100 in like 45 seconds, why not just give it to charity??

Things learned in Vegas:

  • Tony Danza, Barry Manilow, Toni Braxton, all the people you thought were dead are, in fact, performing in Vegas. I think this means (a) they are not dead after all, or (b) Vegas is the afterlife for third rate celebs.
  • When playing roulette, you may be tempted to play Canucks jersey numbers… 22 – Daniel Sedin, 33 – Henrik Sedin, 16 – Linden, 9 – Pyatt, 7 – Morrison, etc. Don’t. Just don’t.
  • Waitresses will only come by to bring you free drinks when either (a) your down to your last dollar on the slot machine or (b) you say, “I’m cashing out if I don’t win on the next spin!” So that you’ll have to stay around waiting that free drink and will put more money in the machine. They have it down to a freakin’ science, I swear.
  • Vegas waitresses are not as hot as I have been led to believe. I’m willing to bet, though, that they make more money than I do.
  • If you walk around Vegas dressed as a bat, even on Halloween, you will get a lot of looks.
  • Everything in the Venetian is made of gold… including the toilets4.

  • The red carpets you see celebrities photographed on showing them going into Vegas nightclubs…. they don’t actually go anywhere! It’s just a bit of red carpet and a backdrop set up in the hallway for photo ops. As is my habit when I see ropes blocking things off or signs telling you not to go somewhere, I hopped over the ropes to get this paparazzi shot:
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And speaking of photos, I took these pics for Sarah & Dave:

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Saw our favourite arcade game, which is found in every bar, pub, tavern and daycare5 in Calgary, in one of the hotels in Vegas and just had to take a pic for you!

<img src=”http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2224/1994945606_4355f4767b_m.jpg” alt=”

Then I noticed this poor man’s Big Buck Hunter, called “Deer Hunting USA” right next to it. Apparently it also has “Animated Violence: Mild.

So that, in a nutshell, was my trip to Vegas.

1Tip o’the hat to David T. McLean, Esq.
2comped = getting free stuff (like a free buffet, a free hotel room) when you lose lots of cash at a casino.
3Wow. My description makes it sound really lame, but it wasn’t – it was quite good!
4Yes, I took a picture of the toilet. See, there is nothing I won’t do for you, gentle blog reader. Nothing!
5OK, so we didn’t actually go to any daycares in Calgary, but I’m willing to put money on them all having Big Buck Hunter.



{November 5, 2007}   Did Ya Miss Me?

I’m back from my gallivanting. Too tired to write about it all now1, but since a picture is worth a thousand words, here’s 2K worth of words for ya…

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This is me on Halloween night at, let’s say, The Bellagio2.

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This is me and my beloved eBay shoes in, let’s say, The Venetian3. This picture was taken especially for you, blog readers, because I know you *love* updates on the adventures of my ebay shoes.

1Perhaps I’ll pull a Dave and write about *my* trip to Vegas 472 days after said trip.
2 I have to admit that I have trouble remembering which hotel/casino was which because (a) I saw one hell of a lot of hotels/casinos on this trip, (b) each hotel/casino was more ornate than anything I’d *ever* seen in my life, (c) the hotels/casinos were so friggin’ big you could be walking for like half an hour and still be in the same friggin’ hotel/casino, meaning that I often didn’t know which hotel I was in at any given point in time. Also, (d) they give you free drinks.

3ibid



{August 27, 2007}   Weekend Update

Well, jaw is still a bit achy. The ache seems to travel – Friday it was in the right lower jaw, Saturday in the left lower jaw and today it seems to be where the top wisdom teeth were that ache the most. The swelling in my mouth has gone down enough that I can now reach the wounds with my tongue… I can feel the stitches in the bottom, but the top just feel like holes – I don’t feel any stitches there. It’s weird, and I’m really trying not to always tongue the holes in my gums, because that just seems like a great way to cause an infection. But, of course, it also seems impossible to keep myself from doing!

I’m still afraid to try anything more solid that scrambled eggs, because it does hurt to open my mouth wide enough and I’m sure it would hurt to chew. Which resulted in my paying $7.50 for a bowl of mashed potatoes at dinner last night (stupid Cactus Club, what a rip off). They charged me $7.50 for a bowl of mashed potatoes, but only $6 for a double Margarita. Go figure.

After dinner last night, I went to see Five Alarm Funk at the Commodore. According to their website:

Five Alarm Funk is a Vancouver-based, 12-piece rhythm machine that delivers a delirium-inducing live show fuelled by original funk and afro-beat grooves.

I have to say that they were pretty awesome. I’d never seen them before and knew absolutely nothing about them going into it (and neither did the people I was with), so it wasn’t until a few songs in that we even found out that the band that was playing at first wasn’t Five Alarm Funk. They were an opening band, whose name I never caught, and they were quite good. And then FAF came on and they were even more awesome! The show went on and on, some of the band members even came out in to the crowd and stuff… the crowd was full of all the Vancouver hippies that Dave couldn’t find when he came here to visit, which explains why some guy who could barely speak English, but seemed to keep speaking to me in Spanish as if I was supposed to know what he was saying, at the bar I ended up in at the end of the night, kept saying to me “You’re hair smell like weed. Marijuana. You have? Marijuana? I like smoke marijuana.” Ya, ‘cuz after the show I met up with my friend Rachel and she and I both wanted to go dancing, whereas the people we’d both been out with weren’t up for dancing. So Rachel and I had a drink at the Granville Room with Lianna before she headed home to check on her dog, who’d just been neutered, then headed to Ceili’s. Oddly, there was no line, no cover and no ID’ing at the GR or C’s, which I don’t think I’ve ever seen in Vancouver before. The music was good and Rachel and I had a great time dancing, which we haven’t had a chance to do in far too long! In addition to the guy who kept telling me that I smelled like weed (and I think, but am not sure because his English was pretty choppy, asked me to be his girlfriend), I was also amused by the guy that hit on me that I think I may have insulted by saying “Are you old enough to be in here?” and the charming Brit, who was saying all the charming things that Brits say (and, to be quite honest, I didn’t care if he actually meant a word of it, it was just nice to hear).

Long story short, I stayed up much too late and was totally exhausted today, so I figured that I could justifying doing pretty much nothing all day as “recovery from surgery.” And now I’m going to go to sleep because I have a tonne of work to get done for September and isn’t September like really, really soon?



{July 20, 2007}   Weddings

So, I’m going to two weddings in the next couple of weeks and I’m really excited about both of them.

First of all, both couples are AWESOME! You know how sometimes couples are together and everyone is always (behind their backs, of course) like “wtf? why is she (or he) with him (or her)? She (or he) is way too good for that schmuck!” This is not the case with these couples – I can honestly say that I’m totally happy for both of the brides, who are getting awesome husbands, and both of the grooms, who are getting awesome wives!

Second, these two weddings are going to be about as different as can be. The first one is a traditional Indian wedding, meaning that I’m going to four different events, spread out over a week and a half, some of which will have 700+ guests. There’s a pre-wedding reception thrown by the bride’s family, a party where all the girls get hennaed, a wedding ceremony (plus a ceremony for leaving the parents’s house and another one for entering the new house) and the reception thrown by the groom’s family (and probably ten thousand other things I don’t even know about). I’ve never been to an Indian wedding before, so I’m very excited to experience it all (especially, the food! I *love* Indian food1!)

The second wedding will (most fittingly for a bride and groom who got engaged after climbing the Chief and who registered their wedding on the gift registry at Mountain Equipment Co-op) be outdoors on a property out in Langley, and many people will be camping out that way that night. I tried to convince the bride that she should do a keg stand at her wedding, but apparently it will be cans of beer, not kegs, so that plan was foiled! There certainly won’t be 700 guests (I think it’s something like 100-150, but I might be totally making that number up). And no guests are allowed to attend that haven’t met the bride and/or groom at least once (i.e., no bringing random dates just so you can have a date!). The idea is that the bride and groom want a great party with their family & friends, which is very in keeping with their personalities2.

All of this talk of guests and whether or not the bride and groom actually know all the people at their wedding is sort of getting mashed up in my brain with recent conversations I’ve had about Facebook (i.e., how some people only add their actual friends, whereas other people add anyone and everyone they meet (and sometimes people they haven’t even met)). And so I have a question for you, blog reader:

How many of your Facebook “friends” would you invite to your wedding? 100% of them? 50%? 10%?

1I was talking with Dave the other day and mentioned that the bride & groom are vegetarian, so I’m going to get a wicked good Indian vegetarian dinner, and he said, “Nice to see that your dietary lifestyle choice will be met.” (This was a reference to the MC at his & Sarah’s wedding, who cracked us all up when he said, “Vegetarians and vegans, please inform the waitstaff of your dietary lifestyle choice.”). I replied to Dave, “Yes, and my other dietary lifestyle choice too. Open bar.”

2 OK, as I’m proofreading this post, it almost sounds like I’m slagging on the one couple because they are having a less ornate wedding and/or slagging on the other couple because they are having a huge wedding with a lot of people that aren’t close friends there… but I’m so totally not doing that! I really am excited about the two weddings and just think the contrast is very interesting, not that one is better than the other.



{May 3, 2007}   Sushi Party!

Just got home from a sushi party. Wanted to post pics, but my computer is taking FOREVER to upload them to Flickr and I’m sleepy and want to go to bed RIGHT NOW. So suffice it to say that my girlfriends ROCK! We made delish sushi (not to mention Ali’s marinated strawberries and chocolate ice cream cake!); had good wine; talked about food, boys we are seeing, boys we are not seeing and decided we need to have an aphrodisiac party*. Too sleepy to post more now… I’ll post pics tomorrow, k?

Oh ya, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHEILA!!

*Yes boys, that is correct. A house full of hot women were discussing our need to have an aphrodisiac party in Sheila’s bed. Everything you ever thought happened when girls get together really is true.



If you were at a certain birthday party on the beach today, you would have heard the following exchange:

Person #1: So, are you guys carbo loading?
Person #2: Do bellinis count?

Guess which person was me in that conversation?



Start of our second full day in Calgary. Yes, we start our day at 11:35 am – do you have a problem with that? Actually, we’ve been up for a little while, feeding our Facebook addictions* and drinking tea and eating brekkie.

Oh ya, so Calgary has totally turned me into an environment-destroying monster. Yesterday when Dave and Justin went out to get us coffee, I forgot to give them my travel mug, so I used my first paper cup of the Roll Up the Rim to Win season**. And today I used the oven (as in the real, full-sized oven) to toast my English muffin. Before you know it I will be driving a stretch SUV.

As for the title of this post, I think you can guess what this means. It’s not called Cowtown for nothing, folks. But it’s OK, we went to Safeway and bought a bunch o’ food. Here’s a pic of the fridge when we’d been to the liquor store, but not yet the grocery store. See if you can spot the food in this fridge***:

Also, be sure to check out Dave‘s list of “things you didn’t know about Cowtown” – I’m sure you will find it insightful and informative. Especially the stuff about the boot stores.

*Except Justin, who thinks that all this computer stuff is anti-social and why aren’t we all just using messenger pigeons for communication and listening to records?

**For the record, I Rolled Up the Rim to Not Win.

***It’s sort of like “Where’s Waldo”.



{March 19, 2007}   Chuck Norris Parties Here

So we decided to go out to watch the game and just have “a few beers” on Saturday night. Ya, on Saturday night, which was St. Patrick’s Day. I’m sure you can guess how that ended! I can now confirm that (a) they still do give free shots to everyone sitting at the bar at Nevermind whenever a Canuck scores, (b) even emtpy-netters count, (c) I’m an extremely good luck in the Canuck of the game scores = free beer for everyone in the restaurant (I’m three for three on that front) and (d) I don’t do well with free alcohol. Oh yes, and Chuck Norris parties at Nevermind:



{March 16, 2007}   Think & Drink Green

I’m going to the “Think & Drink Green” beer garden tonight. It’s combining the joy that is drinking green beer for St. Paddy’s Day with raising awareness about sustainability. And I think they are raising money for something. However, much to my chagrin, I have discovered that I have *nothing* green to wear! What kind of an Irish girl am I?? OK, I’m off in search of some green ribbon to put in my hair…



{January 26, 2007}   Look Ma, No Wires!

I finally got my new laptop!! Despite Future Shop’s best efforts to keep me from getting it (first by insisting that the holder of the credit card (who is in Toronto) that paid for laptop show up at the pick up location (which is in Vancouver), then (after agreeing she could pay there and I could pick it up here) by twice denying her the opportunity to pay for the damn thing in Toronto via (1) their system being down one day and (2) having a lineup so huge that my sister waited for her whole lunch hour and never got to the head of the line the next day), they finally let her pay for it and then gave it to me without my even showing any ID! Seriously, I walked in and said that someone in Toronto bought me a computer to be picked up at this location, and they just handed it over!

Anyhoo, I’m composing this posting on my lovely, shiny new laptop. My Wifi-enabled beauty, meaning that I could be just about anywhere! The fact that I am sitting in the chair at my desk, right next to my desktop computer is immaterial! I could be sitting in bed writing this. Or in my kitchen! Or maybe even out in my backyard, seeing as it is sunny today! Or at a coffee shop! Or even at Nevermind, which has a fatport connection!

Also, the keyboard on my new laptop is bilingual. Did you know that the French version of “PgDn” is “P.suiv” or that the French version of “Alt” is “Car”?* Of course, when I set the computer up for the first time, there was a message when I chose “English” as the language I wanted to use that essentially said, “Are you sure? If you choose English now, you will never ever, ever be able to switch it to another language! Even if you do a complete system recovery! Even if you dismantle the computer into its component atoms and re-construct it, atom by atom, you will never be able to make it work in French. We swear! No fooling!!” So here’s hoping that I don’t want to use Windows in French!

OK, I should go now. I need to go for a run (yup, still training for the half marathon!). And then I’m off to school to get some stuff out of my old office (stuff I’d completely forgotten was even there!) and then to help set up for the Aggie Bzzr Garden. You may recall reading about the last Aggie Bzzr Garden. I’ll try to behave myself this time. But if I ride the mechanical bull again, I’ll be sure to sign my waiver “Lara Croft.”

*Damn, this keyboard is slightly different than my other one and I keep accidentally hitting the “Verr.maj.” key.



{January 9, 2007}   Birthday Bash!

As we all know, 29.5 is the new 19. Well, six months goes by fast, my friends, and that means that somebody’s 30th birthday is just a few days away. If you had asked me at the tender age of 29.5 what I wanted on my 30th birthday, I would have told you three things: (1) my Ph.D. (check), (2) my divorce to be finalized (check) and (3) to be living in California (not so much on the check). And while two out of three ain’t too bad, far be it from me to not score 100%. So I’ve revised #3 so that it now reads “(3) to go surfing in Tofino.”

For those of y’all who aren’t from around here, here’s a map:

As you can see, Tofino is on the west coast of Vancouver Island and I am under the understanding that the waves are wicked good this time of year. We’ve got a pile of friends (including some of my roommate’s friends (one of whom is also having a b-day this weekend) and some of their friends) and a couple of cabins (with hot tubs!). To those who think it is ill-advised to surf this far north in the Pacific in January, and to my mother who is sure that I’ll break my neck, I say “hush up you!” I can’t think of a better way to celebrate 30!

P.S. Should I be concerned that “Bear Aware” is one of the links on the District of Tofino website? Only time will tell.



et cetera