Not To Be Trusted With Knives

I tried to call my Dad for Father’s Day yesterday. Given that he wasn’t at home when I’d called on his birthday1, I thought it was extra important that I talk to him for Father’s Day. But when I called, the phone line was all super static-y and, from what I could make out amidst the static, Toronto2 had some sort of a rainstorm/flood/natural disaster that ruined the phone lines. And my dad wasn’t home.

He did try to call me back upon his return, but the phone line situation had not improved, so the conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi Dad!

Dad: <garble> Hello? <garble> <garble>

Me: Hi! Your phone line is really bad! I can hardly hear you.

Dad: <garble> Thank you!! <garble>

Me: Um, Happy Father’s Day?

Dad: I <garble> can’t hear you <garble> <garble> ..alk to you later<garble>

And so I had to resort to this text message. I honestly don’t know if my Dad knows how to deal with text messages3, so I hope he got it. Because I did want him to know that I was wishing him a happy Daddy’s day. Even if he is a Maple Leafs fan.

In unrelated news, this sour cream that I had in my fridge appears to have expired over 1000 years ago:

It passed the sniff test, though, so I think it’s OK. I mean, it’s already SOUR cream.  What’s it going to do, get more sour? 😉

In also unrelated news, my 3-game point streak ended with last night’s 6-1 loss. I blame the fact that I re-taped my stick and clearly my good luck must have been in the old stick tape, ragged as it was. I have to say that, despite what the score says, we played a good game… there were 44 shots against us, so our goalie, Megs, did a wicked good job in net. And I drew a penalty when someone just couldn’t keep up with my mad puck handling skillz and hooked me, sending me down and spinning into the boards. Plus, we only had 7 skaters for half the game. Memorable quotations from last night’s game include:

  • Why is that girl walking off with a bra from the bench? and
  • I don’t have any socks and I’m not wearing any underwear.

And, in my final bit of unrelated news, I’ve discovered the secret to being productive after work: don’t sit down. Usually when I get home from work I sit down on the couch to “relax” and “unwind” for a few minutes. Maybe play a few moves on Scrabulous. And then I don’t get up. Dishes pile up. Laundry remains unwashed. Cupboards remain bare. Dinner consists of a nuked burrito6. But since it was so sunny out today, when I got home I didn’t sit down, I quickly changed into some running clothes to get out for a run in the sun. And I ended my run at the grocery store, so I could pick up some grub, what with the cupboards being bare and all. And, you know how they say you shouldn’t grocery shop when you are hungry? Well, when you had an apply for breakfast, a light lunch and haven’t yet had dinner AND just ran 5 km – doubly so. I bought sooo many groceries I could barely carry them all home7. On the plus side, since I’d just been for a run, I was totally craving fruits and veggies, so at least it was all healthy food. Once I got home with my many, many groceries, I was sooo starving that I still didn’t sit down – I immediately began to cook. And not only did I cook myself some tasty veggies tacos (with 1000-year-old sour cream), but I also sautéed a bunch of veggies to supplement the leftover pasta that I made yesterday for my lunches this week. As my taco veggie mix simmered, I put away the groceries. And then I ate said tacos, and did the dishes. And put all my scattered laundry into a laundry bucket9. And prepared the coffeemaker for tomorrow morning’s coffee10. And then I made some tea. And *then* I sat down. And now I’ve written this nice long, super-footnoted posting.  So there you have it folks, not sitting down is the secret to my post-work productivity.

1I left a “happy bday” message with my mom, but it’s just not the same
2Well, Toronto suburbs, anyway
3My sister4 got him and my Mom cell phones two Christmases ago that they use “for emergencies only,” so I have no idea if they text or not.
4She is the good daughter. The one who gave them a grandchild and cell phones. And a computer (for Dad) and a fur coat (for Mom). I’m the one who can’t even complete a phone call for birthdays or parent celebration days.
5One girl showed up about halfway through the second period because she was stuck in wicked traffic, so we had 8 skaters after that.
6This may or may not be an exaggeration.
7Part of this was due to the fact that my favourite organic, fair-trade Bolivian coffee was on extra good sale8, so I had to buy 3 bags of it. And part of it was due to the fact that they now have those little baskets for putting your groceries in when you are in the store that have wheels and a long handle. So you wheel them around as you fill them up, never realizing how freaking heavy it will all be until you are done checking out.
8Instead of the standard $1.50 off the “regular” price that it usually is, it was $4 off!
9And I would have done the laundry, too, if only my landlords weren’t already using the washing machine.
10This is the one and only task that I *always* make sure to do, no matter what other chores I ignore.

{June 2, 2008}   She scores… again!

That would be another goal for Dr. Beth! Although not a game winner this time, tonight’s goal was scored from “the doctor’s office.” But this time, I lifted the puck up off the ice! One might even call the motion used to put the puck in the net an actual “shot” (as opposed to my usual “stuffing it in the net” with a sweeping-like motion).  I may make the NHL yet.

See Megs, I told you I’d blog it when I got home!

{March 16, 2008}   We are the champions!

Tonight, we won the championship game!

Some photos from the post-game celebration in the dressing room:


Next stop: Vegas tournament. And then it’s on to provincials in Kelowna in May!

{March 12, 2008}   Happy Work-iversary to Me!

One year and one week and one day ago, I was unemployed and seriously wondering how I was going to continue to pay my rent, buy groceries, and basically, well, live.  I was filling out the necessary paperwork to postponing the onset of my massive student loan payments on the basis of abject poverty.  I was pouring over job posting after job posting, all of which I was either way over- or way underqualified for.  Then, one year and one week ago, I had a meeting.  Then, one year and three days ago, I was offered a job.  A job with a description that was pretty much written for me.  At a cool place, doing very cool work.  A job with a paycheque.  And benefits.  And pretty business cards.  And a swanky office with a view of the mountains.  A big girl job.

Happy workiversary to me.

{February 25, 2008}   Hockey News

This week’s installment of my Prime Ministerial series will have to wait until tomorrow because (a) I’ve already blogged a hellava lot this weekend and I’ll have to actually do research on the next P.M.1 and I can’t really justify spending the time it would take to blog that today and (b) I have far more exciting *breaking news* for you!

Wait for it… wait for it….

I scored the game winning goal in my hockey game tonight! My long, long scoreless streak is over! And, to make it ever sweeter, I got an assist2 on the first goal… on the *same shift*! We jumped out onto the ice and scored quickly, then took the next face off, got it into their zone, my centre shot the puck and I crashed the net to pick up the juicy rebound. Seriously, the rebound trickled out from the goalie, no more than half a foot in front of the goal line, and the goalie had gone down on the left side of the net on the initial shot, leaving me with *half* the net open, the puck right there in front of the open space and I was already skating right at it. All I had to do was tap it in. It’s what we like to call “picking up the garbage.” And you can just call me the “garbage woman”… er, “sanitation engineer.” Honestly, I don’t care if my goal is pretty3 or not… it still counts on the score sheet and it still wins the game!

I just checked the team stats and my last goal was on Sept 30… and it was also a game winning goal and it was against the same team as I scored on tonight. I guess I just have it in for them or something.

1Because, truly, I have no idea who the 3rd Prime Minister of Canada was. There, I said it!
2Fingers crossed that the refs actually counted it as my assist!
3I have the worst shot in the known world and so my goals are never pretty. What I lack in ability, I make up for in effort. My shot might suck, buy my positioning is good and sometimes just being in the right place at the right time is all it takes. Good things happen when you go to the net!

et cetera