Not To Be Trusted With Knives











{September 25, 2008}   Hockey Hotties

This Saturday I’m going to be participating in a draft for a hockey pool.  Since I pay little to no attention to teams that aren’t the Canucks, I’m not overly familiar with non-Canuck players.  In fact, unless someone is a mega-star a la Sydney Crosby, I’ve probably not heard of them.  Thus, my draft strategy will be: draft the hottest players.  If I can’t win the most points, I may as well have the prettiest boys on my team, right?

Rick Dipietro. Rawr!

Rick Dipietro. Rawr!

So far, the pretty boy hockey players that come to mind are:

My research, thus far, has been watching videos of the “10 or 20 or 30 or 50 or 62 Hottest Hockey Players” on YouTube. I’ve noticed that these videos all seem to have the following things in common:

  • very poor production values
  • a plethora of copyrighted images being used
  • music that makes no sense (e.g., what does “I Kissed a Girl” have to do with hockey hotties??)
  • each contains at least 2 of the Staals, none of whom are good looking
  • each contains at least 4 fuglies for every decent looking player

Also, any “hottest hockey players” list that doesn’t include Taylor Pyatt and/or does include Evengi Malkin or Scott Gomez has some serious problems.

OK, blog readers, now help me out.  What hockey hotties are missing from my list?

Image Credit: Posted by Francis Larrede on Flickr.

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colleen says:

ok. so, yes, Pyatt. HOT. but Iginla? srsly? I’m starting to oubt your taste. no Luongo? he’s not stereotypically pretty, but dude… watch him MOVE. that makes him + looks = pretty. (pardon me while i swoon)

the rest, i can live with. i have high standards when it comes to hockey players.



Rebecca says:

I wouldn’t kick Georges Laraque out of bed for eating crackers. I’ve also harboured a minor crush on Chris Cellios for a number of years.



Beth says:

@Colleen – Luongo? Ewwww! He’s so greasy!! I think we could solve global warming by just getting him to use less oil in his hair!

@Rebecca – I’ve not heard of Georges Laraque, but I just Googled him. Pretty cute. He shall go on the list. (And are you sure you don’t just like him ‘cuz you almost have the same last name?) But Chris Chelios?? I’m not sure we can be friends anymore!



Maddie says:

What? No Henrik Lundqvist?



Beth says:

@Maddie. Nu uh. Beth no likey Henrik Lundqvist! Or the other Lundqvist!



No hottie list is complete without Mikko Koivu. Rawr.



Ruthe says:

Maddie is right. Lundqvist has to be at the top of any hockey hunk list. And John Grahame, although he plays in Russia now.



Beth says:

@Ms. Conduct – Rawr indeed! I was completely re-miss in forgetting Mikko! He’s been added! (Also, your name is the best!!)

@Ruthe – Nope. No Lundqvist. Ewww! I’ll grant you Grahame’s a cutie, but the draft is for NHLers only.



Bianca says:

I will say thanks to Puck Daddy for featuring this but yes you did left a few good ones. And yes I will agree that the Staals are very overrated in the looks department. With that said, here’s a few more hotties.

*Kris Letang (he can be twins with Jim Strugges from Across the Universe)
*Max Talbot
*Mike Richards
*Jeff Carter
*Mike Komisarek
*Chris Higgins
*Josh Gorges
*Jason Pominville
*Jonathan Toews (aka jailbait a)
*Patrick Kane (jailbait b)
*Sam Ganger (jailbait c)
*Simon Gange
*Henrik Zetterberg (aka Gagne’s Swedish Twin)
*Rick Nash
*Dustin Brown (he’s actually cute)
*Carey Price



Ruthe says:

Forgot Jose Theodore. Cutie!



Bianca says:

Oops and Antoine Vermette!



[…] Don’t forget to scroll down to my previous post and let me know who you think is the hottest NHL hockey hottie! Beth @ 1:54 pm [filed under Uncategorized tagged food, people who are cool enough to visit me, […]



Kelly says:

Andrew Cogliano! An absolute must. He is of Pyatt Calibur. It is *such* a shame that he’s a greasy Oiler.
And…No Naslund? NY or no NY, he has NHL’s Next Top Model written all over his delicious bone structure.



Peter says:

I mean this in a completely heterosexual way but Kyle Brodziak of the Oilers is a pretty good looking dude.



Beth says:

@Kelly & Peter – Wowza! I clearly need to give the Oiler boys are closer look! Cogliano & Brodziak are both going on the list (as jailbaits d & e). And I actually like the Oilers waaaay more than the evil, evil Flames.
Also, I don’t know *how* I possibly forgot Naslund… Shame on me!

@Bianca – I will now have to check out everyone on that list!

@Ruthe – I was think of Theodore, but I’m still mad at him for the whole Paris Hilton thing. Plus, I’m only allowed one goalie and I’m in love with Rick DePietro.



janemcmurry says:

NHL hotties? What about Jeremy Roenick from the Sharks? Craig Rivet was a looker too.



Rebecca says:

Oy – sorry for the egregious misspelling of Chelios. And the harbouring of a secret crush. We’ll not speak of it again.

What about Dominic Moore? I know he’s a Leaf, but we can’t hold it against him.



Ruthe says:

Beth, agree with you on DiPietro. I noticed no one mentioned Sheldon Souray. Watch below and tell me you wouldn’t like this guy making a pizza for you. However, my vote still goes to John Grahame even though he can’t be on the list. (Playing in Russia now).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGkUrWWpJdU (If this link does not work just type in his name on Youtube and access the one titled “Day Walk.”



KG says:

Haha, this is awesome, my draft is tomorrow and my team name is Hot Guys Only. I may just use your list as my ranking!! Thanks for doing the research! 😀



[…] afternoon’s hockey pool draft, I decided I should figure out what position all the hotties on my list actually play, given that we need to have one goalie and to pick a certain number of defenseman. […]



Ruthe says:

I’m telling you, go with Sheldon Souray of the Oilers, he’s a goal scoring defenseman. Look for him to have a good year after his injury last year.



[…] Hockey Hotties – In fact, unless someone is a mega-star a la Sydney Crosby, I’ve probably not heard of them. Thus, my draft strategy will be: draft the hottest players. If I can’t win the most points, I may as well have the prettiest boys on my team, … […]



[…] 17Which occurred on Friday, September 26, 2008 as a direct result of my list of the hottest players in the NHL […]



[…] afternoon’s hockey pool draft, I decided I should figure out what position all the hotties on my list actually play, given that we need to have one goalie and to pick a certain number of defenseman. […]



Erin says:

Craig Conroy of the Calgary Flames!! He plays along side Iginla so he doesn’t get the hottie recognition he should!! His big blue eyes could melt any woman’s heart!!



[…] afternoon’s hockey pool draft, I decided I should figure out what position all the hotties on my list actually play, given that we need to have one goalie and to pick a certain number of defenseman. […]



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