Not To Be Trusted With Knives











{January 6, 2009}  

From the T-Shirt Hell.com e-newsletter that was sent out yesterday:

As you may know, T-Shirt Hell opened a sister site called Torsopants last year, that was basically a clothing company geared towards retards and undesirables. Well, Torsopants closed its doors on Dec 23rd and most people didn’t care.

But there were 2 people that were upset (Beth and Steve)…and because EVERY LOSER IN THE WORLD matters to us here at T-Shirt Hell, we’ve decided to bring Torsopants back! That’s right, each week, along with our regular new shirts, we will be adding new Torsopants as well, which will be located in their own section on the site. [emphasis mine]

Um, ya. So I was pretty sure that “Beth” was referring to me.  Because I *did* blog about how upset I was over the demise of Torsopants.  And if you Google Torsopants, I am the sixth hit.  And then I thought that maybe it was just my rampant narcissism kicking in, but then Chris tweeted @ me that he thought that was me, so I’m pretty sure that must be me, right?

So, yeah. T-shirt Hell noticed me.

I am not a loser.

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{December 4, 2008}   R.I.P. Torsopants

Yesterday, I received an email telling me about the untimely demise of Torsopants:

It is with great sadness that I announce, at the urging of Bilderberg, that I am closing the doors at TorsoPants.com at midnight December 23rd, 2008. I cannot get into complete details, but my higher masters have told me that my mission will be changing over the next few months and this is the first step in a series of movements I will make in my life to fulfill the prophecy that is Sunshine Megatron.1

This is very sad, as Torsopants is where I purchased one of my most favourite shirts:

DSC_5062 by you.

Here we are enjoying delicious lemon fake “chicken” at Lucky Creation in San Francisco:

IMG_3750 by you.

Oh, those were happy times, before my beloved T-shirt’s homeland was on the brink of death.  Poor T-shirt.

Now I’m trying to decide if I should buy this one2 before the 23rd:

solipsistic

Or possible this one:

with this arrow

Or this one:

words on a shirt

1For the record, they always say weird stuff like that in their emails. The fish.
2It’s funny because you have to look it up in the dictionary.




et cetera