Not To Be Trusted With Knives











When I was a kid, I really, really wanted to be left-handed.  I’m not sure where the fascination for this came from, but I do know that my sister is left-handed and I thought it was cool.  When I got bored in school (which was often!) I would practice writing with my left hand to entertain myself (yes, I’m easily amused) and I actually got pretty good at it.  My mom grew up in Quebec, going to Catholic school and in those days, when she tried to write with her left hand (as was her natural inclination), the nuns would hit her hand with a ruler. Because, you know, it’s a sin to write with one’s left hand, devil child!  So she writes with her right hand now, but she was really born a southpaw.

Although my right hand is the dominant one for most things for me (e.g., writing, eating, brushing my teeth), I play sports like a left-handed person (mostly).  I play hockey left, bat left, I golf left – but I throw right.

Anyway, for the past two days I’ve had my right hand wrapped up – half because compression is good for the strain and half because it serves as a reminder for me not to lift things with my injured hand.  And not at all because it’s good for getting sympathy (I can’t believe you’d even suggest that!)  I’ve even moved my mouse to the left side of my keyboard.  And, you know what?  It sucks.  I want my right hand back!  I’m so much more efficient with it!

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{December 7, 2008}   My Best Excuse Yet

So, Sunday is the day that I’m supposed to write my entry in my BC Premier series1.  And I know you are dying to hear about all the high jinks2 that Charles Augustus Semlin, the 11th Premier of BC, got up to during his crazy3 time in office. But I have a very good excuse as to why I’m not writing my entry today:

IMG_4374 by you.

My wrist hurts.  In fact, it’s hurt since last week’s hockey game, when I think I must have fallen on it funny.  And, since it’s my right hand that hurts – the hand I write with, the hand I mouse with – I haven’t really rested it during the past week. And now, after tonight’s hockey game4, it hurts more.  So I’ve made the drastic move of wrapping it in a tensor bandage. And I have plans to sleep with an ice pack (which I also did last week).  And I’m typing this with one hand.

And thus, I am not doing tonight’s scheduled entry in my BC Premier Series.  But that’s a pretty good excuse, right?

1And I do at least 50% of the time.
2I have no idea if there were high jinks, as I have not yet done my blog posting on him.
3Similarly, I have no idea the level of craziness, if any, of his time in office.
4Which we won 4-0, btw.



{September 29, 2008}   Stupidest Tongue Injury Ever

Picture it. I’m sitting in my office, chewing some gum and, out of nowhere, I bite my tongue. But not only do I bite my tongue – oh no, that wouldn’t be ridiculous enough. I bite my tongue so hard that it bleeds. Profusely.

You’d think that with 31 years experience, I’d be able to have my own tongue in my own mouth without biting it.  You’d think.

I would like to point out, in case you are ever considering biting your tongue so hard that it bleeds, that it’s very difficult to put pressure on one’s tongue in order to stop profuse bleeding.  I mean, I grabbed a tissue and applied pressure, but then the tissue just all sticks to your tongue and it’s all “Ick, I’m eating a Kleenex now!  A bloody Kleenex from my profusely bleeding tongue.”

Also from the too much information department, some photos of said injury:

Today’s episode of stupidity has been brought to you by the letter I1

1as in, I am a jackass.



{July 17, 2007}   Stupidest Toe Injury Ever

Today, on the way to work. My flip flop flipped when it should have flopped and, as a result, my big toe scraped along the ground, taking a big chunk out of it in the process.

This incident of stupidity has been brought to you by the letter J1

1as in, I am a jackass.



et cetera