Not To Be Trusted With Knives











My Hockey Hotties post seems to have taken on a life of its own!  The first sign of this was when a whole bunch of people I didn’t recognize left comments on that posting. I mean, I know that there are always a lot of people who read a given blog regularly but don’t comment, but it seemed unlikely to me that all these lurkers were reading me for years, just waiting to comment on my opinions of the attractiveness of various hockey players.  Where were these people coming from?

The next sign was when I noticed a really drastic spike in my stats.  Like, I usually have 50-100 views per day, but on Sept 26, I had 460.  Wowsa!  Investigating further1, I discovered that 237 of those came from “Puck Daddy” on sports.yahoo.com.  And I quote:

Drafting a fantasy hockey team by how good-looking the players are. Sadly, Yahoo! has yet to install “beefcake” as a scoring category. [Not To Be Trusted With Knives]

I have no idea how Puck Daddy found me, but I’m glad he did!

And the third and final sign that Hockey Hotties was some sort of breakthrough posting for me was when I discovered that I was listed on the WordPress “Blog of the Day” under “Growing Blogs” on September 27.

Of course, the problem with getting a spike like that is the inevitable crash. What goes up must come down and suchlike.  Today I logged into WordPress and noticed the pretty much linear decrease2 since 26 Sept:

Oh, those heady days of last weekend – we knew they couldn’t last forever!

On the plus side, Hockey Hotties has now been viewed 761 times – topped only by my about page, which has been around since I first put my blog onto WordPress. Hockey Hotties  – Now With Photos! has only been viewed 106 times, which is a shame, because there are some damn fine photos on there.  But I digress.  Back on the whole stats thing for just a minute, I usually don’t pay too much attention to stats. I’m not into blogging for business3, so how many people come to my site isn’t a huge concern. It’s more like, “Cool! 100 people dropped by to hear about how often I wash my hair!”  But once you get a taste of the big numbers4, it’s sad to see those numbers drop. Discussion of hot boys is enough to bring the readers, but apparently videoclips of me shredding Canadian election brochures is not enough to keep them coming back for more.

Also, I should point out that the whole point of compiling a list of the hottest men in the NHL was to be able to draft a hockey pool team that I wouldn’t mind being trapped on a deserted island with.  The draft for this hockey pool was supposed to have taken place after BarCamp on Saturday but a bunch of the people who were going to take part bailed.  And thus, no draft.

But fear not, people who love hockey player hotness! Darren is now going to run a virtual draft for the hockey pool.  And so the team of hockey hotties will come to be!  And you can be sure that I’ll provide you with detailed info about which hotties end up on my team, and I’ll keep you appraised of their hot, goal scoring5 action all season long!

1a.k.a., scrolling down on the WordPress Stats page
2I guess blog postings about decidedly boring historical British Columbian Premiers just isn’t as excited as blog postings about hawt men. Who knew?
3Which is a *really* good thing, because I’d be starving if I were.
4Those of you who get 460 views per minute may guffaw now.
5Or goal saving, in the case of my goalie. Who I really, really hope will be His Hotness, Mr. Rick DiPietro. Rawr!



{September 25, 2008}   Hockey Hotties

This Saturday I’m going to be participating in a draft for a hockey pool.  Since I pay little to no attention to teams that aren’t the Canucks, I’m not overly familiar with non-Canuck players.  In fact, unless someone is a mega-star a la Sydney Crosby, I’ve probably not heard of them.  Thus, my draft strategy will be: draft the hottest players.  If I can’t win the most points, I may as well have the prettiest boys on my team, right?

Rick Dipietro. Rawr!

Rick Dipietro. Rawr!

So far, the pretty boy hockey players that come to mind are:

My research, thus far, has been watching videos of the “10 or 20 or 30 or 50 or 62 Hottest Hockey Players” on YouTube. I’ve noticed that these videos all seem to have the following things in common:

  • very poor production values
  • a plethora of copyrighted images being used
  • music that makes no sense (e.g., what does “I Kissed a Girl” have to do with hockey hotties??)
  • each contains at least 2 of the Staals, none of whom are good looking
  • each contains at least 4 fuglies for every decent looking player

Also, any “hottest hockey players” list that doesn’t include Taylor Pyatt and/or does include Evengi Malkin or Scott Gomez has some serious problems.

OK, blog readers, now help me out.  What hockey hotties are missing from my list?

Image Credit: Posted by Francis Larrede on Flickr.



{September 24, 2008}   Hockey Team #2

Last night was the first game of my Aggie hockey season. And it felt so good to be back on the UBC ice1. And wearing my Aggies jersey! And doing the Aggie slide2!

Me, Kim & Danielle, showing off our jerseys, during my first run as an Aggiette hockey player.

Me, Kim & Danielle, showing off our jerseys, during my first run as an Aggiette hockey player.

I started my hockey career at age 263, when I was in grad school and, after watching how much fun the man who would later become my ex-husband had playing hockey, I decided I wanted to play hockey too. I told him my Christmas present was going to be hockey gear and he got me hockey lessons at Burnaby 8 Rinks for my 26th birthday. Then I joined the Aggies. One of the perks of being a student is that rec hockey is dirt cheap4, so even I could afford it on my starving student income. I met some really great friends over the years I played Aggie hockey, including my former roomie and the team captain when I started with the Aggies, Dani, and Kim, who now plays with me out in Coquitlam and who is the team captain of the Aggies this year5, 6. I learned a lot about playing hockey and I had a *tonne* of fun.

The year after I graduated, they tore down the UBC rinks7 to build shiny new ones for the Olympics, so there was no rec hockey. And then last year I didn’t get to play with the Aggies, since I wasn’t a faculty member in first term1 and when I became a faculty member in second term, I was sick for two months and so didn’t play with the Aggies (and probably shouldn’t have even been playing on the one team that I did play on at the time).  So, after a two year hiatus, I’m back in the Aggie hockey scene.  And, just to prove I mean business – I scored the first (and only) goal8 for our team in last night’s game! w00t w00t!

Also, I have to say that even though we didn’t win the game, we did pretty damn amazing for a team that’s never played together before, with a few players (including the goalie) that have never played a single game of hockey before last night!  You could actually see an improvement in us from the first period to the third period – people were picking up some skills, figuring out their positions and getting used to playing with one another.  Once we get in a few games together, I think we’ll be a force to be reckoned with!

On a bit of a tangent9, I’d like to point out that one of the teams in the rec league this year – a men’s team in the Elite division is called – and I’m not making this up – 2 Girls 1 Puck.

1I played one game in the new UBC arena – last September I thought I’d be allowed to play UBC Rec hockey because I was teachinga, but it turned out that since I was only teaching in term 2 (Jan-Apr), I wasn’t allowed to play in term 1 (Sept-Dec). Which we didn’t find out until the second game, so I played the first game of last year.
      aYou have to be either a student, staff or faculty member at UBC to be eligible to play in the rec league.
2The “Aggie slide” occurs after the game, after we shake hands with the other team, when the Aggies all skate across the rink and dive. One of the new girls on the team was really confused when we did this last night; afterwards she said, “I was like, “No! Don’t throw yourself in front of the zamboni!!”
3I believe it was when I was 26. I’m starting to get forgetful in my old age, so that might be off by +1 year.
4Compare: UBC Rec hockey fees for ~6 months (late Sept-Nov and Jan-Mar) are ~$80. To play out in Coquitlam for 7 months (Sept-Mar), I pay ~$650. Rec hockey is subsidized by the rec fees that all students pay along with their tuition fees, plus sponsorship from our Faculty since we are a Faculty team.
5Just to give you an idea what an amazingly organized person Kim is, not only did she recruit us a full roster of players for the Aggies, she coordinated an entire extra team full of players AND is recruiting refs for the league. And this on top of being a university student and a teaching assistant and rep for a number of professional organizations and playing with my team out in Coquitlam. Did I mention that she is crazy?
6Clearly, I like hanging around with the people with the power.
7I’m reasonably sure this is just a correlation, not causative.
8It may have been the garbage goal to end all garbage goals – the puck was dumped in to the opposing teams end and me and a (much taller than me) defencewoman were racing for the puck. The puck made it to the goalie before either of us got there and, instead of covering it up given that I was racing right towards here, she tried to poke it off to her right. Two problems with this plan: (a) the defencewoman turned to the goalie’s left as she approached the net and (b) her poke was more of a dribble, resulting in the puck sitting a few inches from the goal line, exactly in front of where I’m heading and the goalie standing dead still, sort of facing the wrong way. All I had to do was sweep the puck a couple inches, and bye bye shut out. The nice thing about garbage goals (which happen to be my specialty): they are worth just as many points as the pretty ones!
9Every time I hear (or see) “on a tangent” I always think “on a secant.” This goes back to high school math class, where we would also sing Ace of Base’sbI Saw the Sign” as “I Saw the Cosine” and where Sarah made the best joke about mistaken (trigonometric) identities.
      bMan, I’m really dating myself with that one.



… is being preempted by need to get a heck of a lot of work done tonight. Long story short: running a big event for work tomorrow, need to get a whole bunch of ideas for a workshop from my head to a PowerPoint file. And need to be there tomorrow by 7:30 in the a.m.  So you’ll just have to wait until next week to learn about the late great Andrew Charles Elliott, 4th Premier of the great province of British Columbia. I know. There, there. There, there.

To soften this devastating disappointment, I will share with you the funny things I read on the waiver I had to sign to play hockey at UBC:

ASSUMPTION OF RISKS I am aware that playing ice hockey and being involved in the Todd Ice Hockey League program involves many risks, dangers and hazards including, but not limited to: impact and collision with other players or officials; playing with or without non-certified officials; impact with objects or equipment used in connection with playing ice hockey; changes in the type of surface and the condition of each surface, including ice surface, hallways, shower facilities, stairs and change rooms; loss of balance;

Loss of balance?  Really?  We have to sign to say that we know we might lose our balance? On ice?  On skates? In a game where people push each other?  I know that lawyers write these things, but it feels like that’s something that should go without saying.

… failure to play safely within one’s own ability;

Again, it should be obvious that I am responsible for my own playing.  Do people really try to sue someone on the grounds that, “I wasn’t playing safely within my own ability!!”?

failure to play against others of equal stature or ability; theft; consumption of food and drink, whether made by professionals or by non-professionals; negligence of other participants; and NEGLIGENCE ON THE PART OF THE UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIA OR THEIR STAFF INCLUDING THE FAILURE ON THE PART OF THE UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIA OR THEIR STAFF TO SAFEGUARD OR PROTECT ME FROM THE RISKS, DANGERS AND HAZARDS OF PLAYING IN THE TODD ICE HOCKEY LEAGUE.

Again, I know it’s lawyers that write these things, but wouldn’t it just be better if people weren’t negligent?  And I didn’t add the ALL CAPS here.  Doesn’t that make it feel like they are telling you “WE PLAN TO BE NEGLIGENT!!!”?

And finally, doesn’t point #5 below seem incongruous with points 1-4?

1. TO WAIVE ANY AND ALL CLAIMS that I have or may in the future […] 2. TO HOLD HARMLESS AND INDEMNIFY THE RELEASEES from any and all liability for any damage to property of or personal injury{…] n3. This Agreement shall be effective and binding upon my heirs, next of kin, […] 4. This Agreement and any rights, duties and obligations as between the parties to this Agreement shall be governed by and interpreted solely in accordance with the laws of the Province of British Columbia and no other jurisdiction; and 5. Any litigation involving the parties to this Agreement shall be brought solely within the Province of British Columbia[…]

So points #1-4 say that I can’t sue anybody at UBC if anything happens to me at the arena, whether it’s during the game or if I slip in the shower, and nor can my family or friends should I happen to die… but point#5 says that if I sue, it has to be in BC.  Huh?

OK, I hope that little bit of waiver-y goodness can tide you over until tomorrow night when I’ll blog something much better.  No, really.  And wish me luck with my big event tomorrow!!



{September 8, 2008}   My hockey muscles hurt

Latissimus dorsi.pngYesterday marked the first hockey game of the new season! It was nice to have a few weeks off to rest and, you know, shoot laser beams into my eyes. Last night’s game was an exhibition one, which we won despite a rather short bench1. The increased amount of ice time that comes along with having fewer players + a few weeks off from playing = my back is killing me! Specifically, my latissimus dorsi are killing me. This always happens when I haven’t played in a few weeks – I’m relatively certain that the only thing I ever use my latissmus dorsi for is hockey.

I’m going to be playing on two teams this year – my usual team out in Coquitlam, plus I’m playing UBC Rec once a week as well. With two games a week, my latissimus dorsi are going to be the fittest latissimus dorsi ever!

On a related note, does anyone know of a good podcast on beginner’s yoga? I found one that just shows examples of different yoga poses, but I’d prefer one that takes you through a routine.

1We have a small roster as it is, and are looking to recruit a few more players, but we had the added pressure that three of our regular players are out of the country this week, so we really didn’t have a lot of players!

Image credit: Christer Johansson, posted in Wikipedia under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License.



{September 1, 2008}   My quads hurt

So, yesterday I decided to go on a little 10 km run. Just me and my friend Alicia. And a couple thousand other people.

IMG_4059 by you.

Here we are in our swanky race shirts. Nike made the brilliant marketing decision to put everyone’s number on their running shirt – instead of the usual practice of giving you a piece of paper that you pin to you shirt – thereby ensuring that everyone in the race would have to wear identical shirts. This made for some pretty spectacular photo ops of thousands of people who were clearly all there to run the same race.

I have to say that the event was a wee bit disorganized – first we were told to gather around the main stage for a warm up. But the warm up never happened. They interviewed a couple of Olympic athletes that I’d never heard of, and then told us to go line up at the start line for the warm up. Oh yes, and that they wouldn’t be starting the race until 7:15 rather than 7 p.m. So we all went to the start line, waited for a bit, and then the race started. No warm up. I suppose there is a possibility that the had a couple of people with no microphones do a very short warm up at the front of the pack, but we were in the 6th wave (for people who expected to complete in 55+ mins) and we certainly didn’t see any warm up.

Here we are about to embark on the big race:

IMG_4060 by you.

Ready, set, go!

And here’s the route we had to run:

IMG_4065 by you.

See that part where you go over the Burrard St Bridge? That map is clearly not to scale… ‘cuz that uphill on the bridge had to be at least 10 km itself. I never realized how freaking long that bridge is. And how much I hate that bridge. This ridiculously long uphill starts at the 7 km mark – just far enough into the run that you are pretty freaking tired, but still far enough from the finish that you are sure it will never end. I always find in races that there is a part where I start to think, “Why do I do this to myself? What was I thinking? I must be completely *insane* to voluntarily sign up to do something like this!” (But the end of the race I’m all “Yay! I love races! Let’s sign up for more!” but at the 7/10ths of the way mark I’m giving serious consideration to hailing a cab).

In the end, we did, in fact, manage to finish. Sure it took us more than twice as long as the winner of the race, but we really weren’t there to compete. (We weren’t there to impress Steve Nash either, but apparently he was impressed). We spent the majority of the “race” chatting as we ran, and we did our usual 10 mins of running, 1 min of walking.  And lamenting that the two women running with the baby carriage – who we decided about a quarter of the way into the race to refer to as our arch nemesis – were ahead of us.

Here’s a photo of us crossing the finish line:

Photo Not Available

We were running so fast across the finish line that no camera could catch us. No, really.

Now, I’ve complained before about the fact that the Nike+ Human Race website is a big steaming pile of crap.  It was very difficult to get the thing to work to register for the race, or figure out the race route or how much of your registration fee goes to charity.  And I have to say that there post-race additions to the website aren’t much better.  Sure, you can search your name and get a pretty graphic that tells your time:

beth by you.

alicia by you.

And you can also see your time next to the top 10 runners in your city:

beth_results2 by you.

But, you know what?  I don’t want to see my name and time, at #1799 out of some unspecified number of racers, next to the top 10 finishers.  That’s just depressing!  What I would like to know is how many people ran the race.  I’m #1799 out of how many?  1800?  4800?  Who knows!  I’ve search their site and I’ve Googled and I can’t find any hint of what the number might be.  Nor what the number of runners worldwide was.  My theory right now is that they were nowhere near their goal of having 1,000,000 people run this race in the 26 cities in which it occurred, so they are ashamed to say what the number was.  I mean, when I look myself up compared to the top 10 finishers in the world, I’m listed as number 124,119.  And I really can’t imagine that I was 124,119th out of 1 million.  Seriously. As if.

Here’s a video from some dude that happened to be skateboarding around Vancouver and discovered that this race was going on, so he decided to record it. I remember seeing a guy skateboarding along with a video camera, so I’m sure this was the same guy.

Notice at the 1 minute mark on this video, you can hear some of the “can do” messaging. I’m pretty sure that that’s the voice of Karen K from CFOX radio telling you that you’ve just cleared the Cambie bridge and have now run 1 km and only have 9 km left to go. Here’s the thing: the last thing I want to hear at that start of the race is that I still have 9 more freaking km to go. Fortunately for us, this audio was not on by the time those of us who started in the sixth wave got there. My guess is that someone heard that they’d only run 1 km, went “omg! I have to run 9 more k?” and then smashed the speakers in a rage.



Ice cream cake sporting my hockey teams logo. Mmmm, ice cream.

Ice cream cake sporting my hockey team's logo. Mmmm, ice cream.

My hockey team had a year-end pool party this past weekend, commemorating our championship, Vegas tournament, trip to provincials in Kelowna and all around hockey good times. The party was held at team captain Karen’s parents place – they have the super awesomest backyard ever, complete with pool1, hot tub, and multiple BBQs. We were further spoiled with goalie Meghan’s husband, Chef Brian, cooking us a gourmet dinner2. And then, to top it all off – a Dairy Queen ice cream cake AND a cheescake!

We also got to see a slide show of photos from the year – in addition to professional ones we had taken of us in action on the ice, there were photos from our fundraiser pub night, Vegas and Kelowna. All of which are no-Facebook, no-Flickr, no-blog. For reasons that I’m sure you can imagine! Then there was also a presentation to one of our team members, Nancy, who retired at the end of the season after an illustrious career with the Blazing Blades. Her jersey was framed and her number (44) has now been retired in her honour. We are hoping that she’ll come back to coach us in the new season!

Speaking of which – it starts next week! I’m so stoked, because I’ve totally been missing the hockey. And now that I have my superhuman vision, I’m sure to tear up the ice this season! I’ll keep you posted, because I know you are just *dying* to hear all about it!

1Although I was technically supposed to go swimming for a full two weeks after my laser eye surgery, I went for a swim, but just made sure not to put my head under. And to go in the pool before everyone else got in so I wouldn’t risk getting splashed in the eyes. I can’t wait ’til my eyes are reading for swimming!
2And, professional chef that he is, he accommodated my vegetarian ways by making me my own special chickpea creation. Which was AWESOME!



{August 23, 2008}   Canada’s Official Sports

Everyone knows that hockey really is the sport of choice in Canada. I remember visiting out east back in 2002 – my ex and I went to upstate New York1 to go to one of his friend’s weddings, and then we spent some time visiting family & friends in southwestern Ontario.  Down in NY State, at least half the cars you drove by had American flags on them.  And, while I didn’t see any Canadian flags, at least half the cars you drove by in southwestern Ontario had a Toronto Maple Leafs flag on them. Just like back home in Vancouver, Canucks flags dominated the traffic scene. We may not be able to agree which team to cheer for, but most Canadians2 will agree that hockey rocks.

However, you often hear people say that lacrosse is “Canada’s national sport.”  Like, as if anyone plays lacrosse.  I’ve also heard that it’s just a rumour that lacrosse is “Canada’s national sport,” a rumour made up and spread by the Canadian Lacrosse Association to try to build a name for their sport.  So I decided to look it up once and for all.

As it turns out, both hockey and lacrosse were declared to be “”Canada’s national sports” in the National Sports of Canada Act in 1994.

The game commonly known as ice hockey is hereby recognized and declared to be the national winter sport of Canada and the game commonly known as lacrosse is hereby recognized and declared to be the national summer sport of Canada.

1Have you ever been to upstate New York? Don’t. Seriously, just don’t.
2Except Kalev, but he doesn’t count because he’s not a real Canadian, as all real Canadians love hockey; so, by virtue of his irrational hatred of hockey, he’s not actually Canadian.

Image credits: Photo of hockey skates by notanartist on Flickr. Photo of the lacrosse stick by downing.amanda on Flickr.  Rock on, Creative Commons licences, rock on.



{August 12, 2008}   Guess who’s running?

What are you doing on August 31?

Me? Well, me – and about a million other people – are going for a run.

On August 31, Nike is attempting to stage the largest run ever – with a million runners in 25 cities1. One of those cities is Vancouver and one of those runners will be me.

A portion of the registration fee (or, according to above screenshot some value related to every step I take during the race)2 will go to the charity of my choosing.  They are all worthy causes, making it difficult to pick, but I decided to choose the UN Refugee Agency.

I’m having a wee bit of trouble figuring out their website3, so although it says I’ve done “0 km” of training, please know that that’s not true!  I just can’t figure out where to enter my training kms.  And I think if you go here you can donate money to the UN Refugee Agency if you’d like to support my run.

1Their ads say “25 global cities,” but is there really any other kind? Were they worried we would think it was 24 cities around the world + 1 city on Mars?
2I have to say their website is less than ideal. It’s ridiculously Flash-heavy and often difficult to find the information you are looking for. For example, I can’t seem to find out what “portion” of the registration money goes to the charities!a
aThis reminds me of the Simpsons episode where they go to the newspaper factory and the PR women says that “a certain percentage” of all the paper they use is recycled; when Lisa pushes her to state how much, the woman replies “Zero. What? Zero is a percentage!”
3Because it sucks with a capital SUCK.  And they don’t even have a “Help” option. WTF, Nike??

A note to my fellow geeks: Please don’t hold it against me that this screenshot reveals I was using IE. The website was not working in Firefox when I tried to register.  I swear, it’s not my fault!



{July 27, 2008}   Hockey Highlights

Highlight of the playoffs:  Amy scoring with 4.3 seconds left in overtime to win our last playoff game today.  4.3 seconds!!

Lowlight of the playoffs: Discovering that some guy from whatever team was in our dressing room before us had taken a dump in the shower.  Seriously.

Now there is about a month off (during which I’ll be getting my laser eye surgery!).  Hopefully I’ll get out to some drop-in hockey before my surgery to work on (a) my wrist shot, (b) my stick handling, (c) pivoting and skating backwards.  The one thing I don’t need to work on: standing in the crease and shoveling in the juicy rebounds after a good player takes a shot – I’ve totally got that one covered.

Also, everyone tell Kim that she should keep playing with the team in the fall.



{July 26, 2008}   Shout Out to the Blogathoners

I’m in between hockey playoff games – we won our game this morning against the last place team1 by a score of 13-12, but this evening we play the second place team, so we are going to have to work our butts off to have a chance at this one – so I will make today’s blog entry brief.  But fear not, as there is tonnes of stuff to read out in the blogosphere – today is Blogathon 2008!  Be sure to check out Rebecca’s posting which lists all the people crazy intrepid enough to post a a blog entry every half hour for 24 hours straight.  And everyone is blogging for charity so if you can afford to, donate to some of the worthy causes for which they are raising money.

And if you are all like, “Oh noes! But I wanted to read something written by Dr. Beth!”, you can check out my guest posting over on Hummingbird604.  And then you can buy me a MacBook Pro.

Now if you’ll ‘scuse me, I have to go put my hair in braids for hockey game #2 (of our 3 games within 24 hrs!)

1We finished in third place, with six teams in the division.
2And I scored a beautiful goal from my office.



I tried to call my Dad for Father’s Day yesterday. Given that he wasn’t at home when I’d called on his birthday1, I thought it was extra important that I talk to him for Father’s Day. But when I called, the phone line was all super static-y and, from what I could make out amidst the static, Toronto2 had some sort of a rainstorm/flood/natural disaster that ruined the phone lines. And my dad wasn’t home.

He did try to call me back upon his return, but the phone line situation had not improved, so the conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi Dad!

Dad: <garble> Hello? <garble> <garble>

Me: Hi! Your phone line is really bad! I can hardly hear you.

Dad: <garble> Thank you!! <garble>

Me: Um, Happy Father’s Day?

Dad: I <garble> can’t hear you <garble> <garble> ..alk to you later<garble>

And so I had to resort to this text message. I honestly don’t know if my Dad knows how to deal with text messages3, so I hope he got it. Because I did want him to know that I was wishing him a happy Daddy’s day. Even if he is a Maple Leafs fan.

In unrelated news, this sour cream that I had in my fridge appears to have expired over 1000 years ago:

It passed the sniff test, though, so I think it’s OK. I mean, it’s already SOUR cream.  What’s it going to do, get more sour? 😉

In also unrelated news, my 3-game point streak ended with last night’s 6-1 loss. I blame the fact that I re-taped my stick and clearly my good luck must have been in the old stick tape, ragged as it was. I have to say that, despite what the score says, we played a good game… there were 44 shots against us, so our goalie, Megs, did a wicked good job in net. And I drew a penalty when someone just couldn’t keep up with my mad puck handling skillz and hooked me, sending me down and spinning into the boards. Plus, we only had 7 skaters for half the game. Memorable quotations from last night’s game include:

  • Why is that girl walking off with a bra from the bench? and
  • I don’t have any socks and I’m not wearing any underwear.

And, in my final bit of unrelated news, I’ve discovered the secret to being productive after work: don’t sit down. Usually when I get home from work I sit down on the couch to “relax” and “unwind” for a few minutes. Maybe play a few moves on Scrabulous. And then I don’t get up. Dishes pile up. Laundry remains unwashed. Cupboards remain bare. Dinner consists of a nuked burrito6. But since it was so sunny out today, when I got home I didn’t sit down, I quickly changed into some running clothes to get out for a run in the sun. And I ended my run at the grocery store, so I could pick up some grub, what with the cupboards being bare and all. And, you know how they say you shouldn’t grocery shop when you are hungry? Well, when you had an apply for breakfast, a light lunch and haven’t yet had dinner AND just ran 5 km – doubly so. I bought sooo many groceries I could barely carry them all home7. On the plus side, since I’d just been for a run, I was totally craving fruits and veggies, so at least it was all healthy food. Once I got home with my many, many groceries, I was sooo starving that I still didn’t sit down – I immediately began to cook. And not only did I cook myself some tasty veggies tacos (with 1000-year-old sour cream), but I also sautéed a bunch of veggies to supplement the leftover pasta that I made yesterday for my lunches this week. As my taco veggie mix simmered, I put away the groceries. And then I ate said tacos, and did the dishes. And put all my scattered laundry into a laundry bucket9. And prepared the coffeemaker for tomorrow morning’s coffee10. And then I made some tea. And *then* I sat down. And now I’ve written this nice long, super-footnoted posting.  So there you have it folks, not sitting down is the secret to my post-work productivity.

1I left a “happy bday” message with my mom, but it’s just not the same
2Well, Toronto suburbs, anyway
3My sister4 got him and my Mom cell phones two Christmases ago that they use “for emergencies only,” so I have no idea if they text or not.
4She is the good daughter. The one who gave them a grandchild and cell phones. And a computer (for Dad) and a fur coat (for Mom). I’m the one who can’t even complete a phone call for birthdays or parent celebration days.
5One girl showed up about halfway through the second period because she was stuck in wicked traffic, so we had 8 skaters after that.
6This may or may not be an exaggeration.
7Part of this was due to the fact that my favourite organic, fair-trade Bolivian coffee was on extra good sale8, so I had to buy 3 bags of it. And part of it was due to the fact that they now have those little baskets for putting your groceries in when you are in the store that have wheels and a long handle. So you wheel them around as you fill them up, never realizing how freaking heavy it will all be until you are done checking out.
8Instead of the standard $1.50 off the “regular” price that it usually is, it was $4 off!
9And I would have done the laundry, too, if only my landlords weren’t already using the washing machine.
10This is the one and only task that I *always* make sure to do, no matter what other chores I ignore.



{June 9, 2008}   Weekend Update
  1. Went to my laser eye surgery consultation on Friday and after watching a cheesy “educational” video – some of which was about the surgery, some of which told me such non-informative things as “hey, did you know glasses and contacts are really annoying?” – and having an ultrasound measurement taken on my eyes, I was informed that I’m a good candidate for either PRK or LASIK due to my above average corneal thickness.  I’m thinking I’ll go with LASIK as it has a much shorter healing time (2-3 days vs. 10 days).  Although I have to admit that I am a bit freaked out by the idea of having a flap cut in my cornea (which is what they do in LASIK; in PRK, they do the surgery without cutting a flap first).  Also, I’m leaning towards going to the more expensive place.  The surgeon is super experienced and I liked him, so I’m thinking it’s worth the money.  I may think differently when I can’t afford to eat because I spent all my money on eye surgery, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.
  2. Finished watching Season 4 of 24.  In celebration, I suggest you check out this pie chart.
  3. Booked a flight to Ontario for the end of the month to visit the fam.  My sister has vacation then, so I figured I could take some vacation days as well and hang out with her.  And my wee niece, who we all know is the greatest child ever to have lived.
  4. Won our hockey game last night!  I got an assist!  I can haz 3 game point streak?
  5. Also in the hockey game, I got the flukiest injury ever.  Correction – *before* the hockey game I got the flukiest injury ever.  While getting dressed for the game, just as I reached down to tie up my skate laces, my friend Kim kicked her foot up to tie up her skate laces and nicked my wrist with her skate blade.  Thankfully it was on the side of my wrist and was just a nick – but if I had my hand turned just slightly the other way and if she’d kicked her foot up just a bit higher, that could have been right nasty!
  6. Spent the evening, after the hockey game, playing with Wesabe.  I’ll have more to report later, once I’ve played with it some more, but so far, it’s pretty damn cool.
  7. It’s my dad’s birthday today.  Happy birthday, Daddy!


{June 2, 2008}   She scores… again!

That would be another goal for Dr. Beth! Although not a game winner this time, tonight’s goal was scored from “the doctor’s office.” But this time, I lifted the puck up off the ice! One might even call the motion used to put the puck in the net an actual “shot” (as opposed to my usual “stuffing it in the net” with a sweeping-like motion).  I may make the NHL yet.

See Megs, I told you I’d blog it when I got home!



{May 26, 2008}   She Scores!

Last night we finally won a game in spring league hockey and guess who scored the game winning goal? Go ahead, guess. No really, guess.

If you guessed “Dr. Beth”, give yourself a gold star! We won 8-0 and the first goal was scored in my patented picking-up-the-garbage-off-a-rebound style. We’ve started calling the act of going to the net to wait for the rebound “being in the doctor’s office.”¹

Also scored this weekend were Madonna tickets! Props to my friend Rachel for getting us tix to Madonna’s Oct 30 concert in Vancouver! Yay!

¹And I just checked the league website to see if they counted my goal and it appears that they credited me not only with my own goal, but also with a goal that someone else scored. Because I don’t remember scoring a goal at 15:47 of the 2nd period, but the website says I did. Now I feel kinda bad because someone isn’t getting credited for their goal!



et cetera