Not To Be Trusted With Knives











For those of you who are *dying* to know exactly how far Kalev and I walked during our great Slurpee adventure yesterday – 5.8 km1.

Props to Kalev for making this super map, which includes not only the 7-11 stops, but our various other bathroom/Lululemon knockoff clothing/sex toy & bookshop browsing stops.

1That’s 3.6 miles, for my American readers.

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While everyone else was waiting in line at a Fido or Rogers store trying to get a 3G iPhone, I had my sights set on the other thing that made July 11 significant.

July 11.

7/11.

Free Slurpees1!

Now the Slurpees that they give out for free on 7/11 are small – just 7.11 oz to be exact:

But since there are 7-11s on every other street corner, Kalev and I decided to spend our afternoon chasing down as many free Slurpees as we could stomach.

After a big ass breakfast2 at the Templeton, we went off on our quest. Stop #1 – the 7/11 on Granville and Drake. We both decided to start with a fairly standard flavour: Pepsi Slurpee.

Wanting to minimize our plastic usage, we decided to keep our giant Slurpee straws for the duration.

Next stop: the 7/11 at Homer & Helmcken.

Here, Kalev decided to try the new “G-force” Slurpee – which is a Slurpee made with orange Gatorade, while I went for Banana. Which lead to a discussion of “why the heck doesn’t “banana flavour” even remotely taste like bananas?” as we made our way Stop #3: Seymour & Dunsmuir.

And this is where our story takes a turn. Thus far, our intrepid heroes have valiantly acquired not one, but TWO free Slurpees. And the day is still young, what with it being only 12:48 p.m. They enter the 7/11 at Seymour & Dunsmuir. But they do not see the bright pink and turquoise mini-cups that have come to represent free Slurpee goodness. What they do see is a hand written sign that says “No more free Slurpees after 12 noon.” Um, hello? Free Slurpee DAY? What part of D-A-Y do you not understand.

Seymour & Dunsmuir = EPIC. SLURPEE. FAIL.

But fear not, gentle blog reader, for Kalev and Beth, they did solider on. The trusted that the universe would not let Free Slurpee Day end at noon! Especially since the first two Slurpees they had each consumed thus far were acquired after 12. And so they made their way to Stop #4 (Slurpee #3): Robson & Cardero.

At this store, we grabbed the last two mini-cups on the shelf – and then when this other dude who had just poured himself a regular Slurpee asked what the deal was, we were all “Slurpees in this size of cup are free today!” and he actually went to the counter, asked for a small cup, and dumped as much of his big cup o’Slurpee as he could into his little cup and said, “I’m not paying for this! I like free!” That’s right, Kalev and Beth bring Free Slurpee Awareness to randoms.

For the record, I decided to try the G-force (tasty!), while Kalev opted for the Pink Grapefruit… which I thought sounded nasty, but which Kalev liked.

Next up was Stop #5 (Slurpee #4): Denman & Comox, for a Cream Soda Slurpee for me, a Coca Cola Slurpee for Kalev.

I have to admit that at this point, I was starting to get a bit Slurpeed-out. But I had it in my to get one last Slurpee!

So we went to Stop#6 (Slurpee #5):the 7/11 at Davie & Hornby, where we learned that if there is a little flashing orange light on a Slurpee machine, it means that the Slurpee is not yet really frozen, so we ended up with a pair of fairly liquidy, yet still tasty, Lime Slurpees.

The thus ended the Great Slurpee Adventure for 2008.

2Also, my half birthday. Happy 31.5th birthday to me!
2I’m not even joking. On the menu it’s actually called the “big ass breakfast.”



et cetera