Not To Be Trusted With Knives











{January 30, 2008}   I love the zamboni!

My wee niece, in a Vancouver Canucks jersey – quite possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!

In the interest of full disclosure, I must report that she didn’t want to put the jersey on at first, as it’s not a dress1,2. But my dad, the Leafs fan you can see in the background in this photo3, used the old reverse psychology on her: “You better not put that shirt on! Don’t you dare!” And then she couldn’t put it on fast enough.

So they all went skating and my wee niece, despite it being only her second time on skates, was skating around on her own like she’d been skating for years4. And I got to miss it all because my family won’t move out to Vancouver. =(

After skating, my mom asked Madeline if she liked skating.  “I love skating!” she said.  “I love the zamboni!  I love hot chocolate!”

1Yet another example of her being like her aunt; I only ever wanted to wear dresses when I was little. I went through a long period of time when I got older when I only ever wanted to wear pants, but now I’m back to wear skirts a lot. Hmm, weird.
2Also, making her like a true Canucks fan. We are fickle breed, with our love/hate relationship with the boys in blue.
3And now you know my secret shame… my dad is a Leafs fan!
4Those of you who are friends with me on Facebook can see a video, as I’ve posted a link to it there.

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{November 30, 2007}   He’s #1!

who has a better save percentage?
Originally uploaded by steveleenow

Props to Roberto Luongo for his team record-breaking three shutouts in a row!!

Due to his spectacular on-ice performance, I am obliged to offer to have his babies.



{November 25, 2007}   NHL All-Star Voting

You know you want to go here to vote for all your favourite Canucks. And remember, it’s not a beauty contest, so it’s OK to vote for the Sedin twins.

And if you win the trip to the All-Star Game in Atlanta, you have to take me, k?



{November 22, 2007}   Real Time Canucks update

I’m working late tonight – had to do some brainless work that needs to be done for this report that I’m writing, so I’m listening to the Canucks game as I work, as the Great Convexity1 has decided to let me stream the radio broadcast today3. And there’s been 5 goals4. in 10 minutes and 30 seconds! Craziness! OK, I just had to share that. Now back to my regularly scheduled brainless work.

1“The Great Convexity” = what I’m now calling my work computer now. It’s the only one of gadgets that actually ended up with a name2.
2Except for the ones that are, uh, named after Canucks.
3The last time I tried, it stubbornly refused to work, even after I turned it off and turned it back on again, which, as we all know, is the only thing that can fix a problematic computer.
4 Two Canucks goals that counted, one disallowed because of a too quick whistle; and two goals by the bad guys.



{November 9, 2007}   Hockey Terms That Sound Dirty

Listening to Canucks games on the radio, I’ve noticed quite a few terms that the commentators use while describing the game that sound dirty1, including:

  • “he’s got good hands”
  • “he stuffed it in”
  • “poke check”
  • “making moves”
  • “gets his stick in there”
  • “scoring”
  • “two on one”
  • “hitting from behind”

Any other ones that I’ve missed?

1Proof, yet again, that I have the sense of humour of a 12-year-old boy.



{November 9, 2007}   Xmas Party’s?

Went to Nevermind, my favourite place to see Canucks games, to watch my beloved Canucks kick some Calgarian ass1,2 tonight. While the portabella mushroom burger at Nevermind is delish , their grammar leaves something to be desired:

IMG_2869

Nevermind, perhaps you should go back to putting up signs about Chuck Norris.

1See you in hell, Calgary.
2The cardiac Canucks pulled one of their patented let-the-opponents-score-2-goals-in-like-5-seconds-to-make-it-a-one-goal-game-and-give-Beth-a-coronary moves in the third period. But they managed to hang on for the win, so I still love them and would have all of their babies upon their request.



{October 16, 2007}   Canucks game recap

My recap of last night’s Canucks game:

Taylor Pyatt scored after a beautiful shot by Brad Isbister hit the post, bounced off of Taylor and went into the net. A PyattIsbister double team – it’s like my dream come true!

Then some other stuff happened, but we don’t need to talk about that.

In other Canucks news, I want these earrings, which I just saw over on http://www.miss604.com/. The thing is, I don’t $73.99-plus-tax-want them.

Seriously, 80 bucks? Seriously?



{September 27, 2007}   Hockey, Hockey, Hockey, Hockey

Anyone wanna take a wild guess who scored the first goal of the season for my new team at UBC? Anyone? Wild guess?

Yes, in true Beth style1, I planted myself in front of the net, waited for the good player2 to make some fancy moves and take a great shot, and then I pounced on the rebound and stuffed it in the net! Some may call it a garbage goal. I prefer to think of it as my excellent positioning saving the day! Also important is the technique of celebrating loudly and pointing in the net, just to make sure the ref sees that the puck is, in fact, in the net. This is followed by turning your back towards the ref so (s)he can clearly see your number, ensuring that you get credit for your goal (as the ref tells the scorer keeper which player scored). Refs can be lazy, so you have to make their job easier for them. Sometimes I wonder if you started celebrating and pointing into the net when I goalie actually had made the save, would they count it as a goal just because the ref wasn’t really watching and assumed you’d seen it go in when (s)he hadn’t?

After the game3, the Aggie contingent of of the team4 stopped at the 7/11 for post-game Slurpees. I had a Car Co-op minivan, which is the closest C0-op vehicle to my house, and being in a van with a bunch of hockey gear brought back memories of hockey seasons past, which often involved getting a ride home after the game in Andrew’s or Jill’s van and stopping at the 7/11 for post-game Slurpees. Mmmm, Slurpees.

Also, for the record, late night hockey games are soooo bad for screwing up your sleep schedule. Tonight’s game started at 11:15 pm and I was sooo tired before the game that all I wanted to do was go to bed. But after a game of hockey, you are so jacked up that you just can’t sleep for like 2 hours. I didn’t get home ’til almost 1:30 am, took a shower, played some Facebook Scrabulous and only now am I starting to feel like I can get to sleep. And I bet it will be very difficult to get myself out of bed in the morning. Ugh! I really hope all of our games aren’t so late!

1a.k.a., Anson Carter style. Carter used to play with the Sedin twins on the Canucks. He would also just plant himself in front of the net and wait for the good players to shoot, then pounce on the rebound. He was the leading scorer on the Canucks that year. This resulted in his being under the delusion that he is a good player, so he asked for tonnes of money in his next contract and, as punishment for being greedy and vain, he was sent to live in Ohio.

2In this case, it was an excellent offensive defenceman we have on our team. I think her name might be Sandra, but there was a lot of new people so I might have the name mixed up. For now, she’s known in my brain (and hence on my blog) as Red-Shirt-Who-May-Be-Named-Sandra.

3Which we lost 6-2. RSWMBNS scored our second goal. We were actually pleased with that score, as the other team was quite a bit better than us, with many of our players brand new to the game, and I thought they’d have twice as many goals against us.

4Which consists of myself, Kim & Sharon at the moment, although we are hoping to recruit more.



{September 21, 2007}   I’ve Got a New Love…

… or Taylor who?

Went to tonight’s Canucks v. Oilers pre-season game. A certain right-winger caught my eye all game. #27. “Who is #27?” I kept asking my friends all game, but they couldn’t read his name on the back of his jersey either, from our seats up in the nosebleeds.

But I got my answer when, with the scored tied 4-4 and only 2.5 seconds left in the game, my new beloved got a breakaway and snapped one past the goalie to win the game.

Isbister. Brad Isbister.


On my new hockey team, I’m #27. And I’m a right winger. It’s fate, right?

The only minor problem with this whole situation, which I just found out while searching for a pic of my new love, is that he happens to be inconveniently married to someone who is not me.

Thank goodness that 50% of marriages end in divorce! I’ll be waiting for you Bradley, I’ll be waiting for you.



{August 21, 2007}   He’s Back!

CANUCKS RE-SIGN FORWARD TREVOR LINDEN

Vancouver, B.C. – Vancouver Canucks Senior Vice-President and General Manager Dave Nonis announced today that the Canucks have re-signed forward Trevor Linden to a new contract.

All I can say is: it’s about damn time!

In other Canucks news, I have four tickets to the launch of the new Canucks sweater at GM Place next Wednesday, but no one seems willing and able to skip work1 to join me. Any one out there in the blogodome interested?

1For the record, I’m not *actually* skipping work. I only work 4 days a week anyway, so I’ll take Wed off instead of my usual Friday.



Canucks Sign Kevin Bieksa.

And it’s not pronounced Bee-ess-ka, Harry!

But you’ve got three years to figure it out.



In this interests of keeping my Vancouverite friends living abroad apprised of the goings on of my beloved Canucks in the off season, I give you the Canucks’s newest hotties:

Ryan Shannon

This tasty morsel was picked up from the Anahiem Ducks as in exchange for Jason King and a conditional draft pick. He’s a centre, like me. And he’s 23, which happens to be my favourite age.

Jimmy Sharrow

This cutie was picked up in exchange for a cutie who was previously mentioned here in my corner of the blogosphere, Jesse Schultz. Jesse didn’t, however, appear to play much when he was called up and I assume he got sent back down to the Moose shortly thereafter. Hopefully Jimmy can do a little bit more than that next season.

Draft Picks

Patrick White (picked 25th overall) & Taylor Ellington (picked 33rd overall)

When I first heard that we picked up another Taylor, my first thought was “Taylor sandwich! With a Dr. Beth filling!” But, alas, then I saw the pics. Now, I’m probably going to lose my cougar card for saying this – but Pat & Taylor look a wee bit too young for my liking. Maybe they just need a few years on the Moose to, um, develop. You know, time to fill out and work on their skills.

In the meantime, there is always Ryan and Jimmy….



{June 17, 2007}   Shout Out to Alain

Friday, as I got onto the bus that would take me to my softball game, the bus driver said, “Nice shirt. Why are so many people wearing Canucks shirts today?” “Because Alain Vigneault won the coach of the year!” I replied. I have no idea if this is why other people were wearing their ‘nucks gear that day, but that was why I put on my stick-in-a-box retro logo shirt!

Of course, Roberto Luongo was robbed of both the Hart Trophy and the Vezina. But don’t you worry, Bobby Lou. You’ll get ’em next year!



{May 4, 2007}   I Still Love Them

After more periods of overtime in one playoffs than any person should watch, the season has ended for my boys.

It might be carryover effect from the cursed chocolate bar. It might be that Dave K went to watch the game at Mike O & Liz W’s, even though I specifically told him that that would jinx us. But whatever the reason, my boys are hanging up the skates for this season. Don’t worry, we’ll come back next year, bigger and faster and stronger than ever! And I still love you.

I love you, Bobby Lou, who is going to win the Hart trophy. MVP!! MVP!! MVP!!

I love you Alex Burrows, scoring our only goal tonight. And I love you too, Dany Saborin, who stepped into the most stressful situation a player could ever imagine and withstood the pressure while Lou raced to fix his equipment.

I love Taylor Pyatt, of course. I always have. Your hussle out there was much appreciated by this fan!

I love you Sedin twins, and Jeff Cowan (the long, lost Sedin triplet who missed the last few games with an injury – we missed you out there!).

Trevor Linden, the consummate Canuck, I love you and hope you come back next year! You’ve got a few good years left in ya, I swear! Naslund, a lot of people were doubting you, but you stepped it and I love you! I love you Mo and Smolinski and Greene and Bulis and Bieksa and Ohlund and Sopes and Salo and Mitchell and Cooke. And Rory, I voted for you, because I love you.

We’ll get them next year boys. In the meantime, I will have all of your babies.



Now, I may have yelled “Turco, you dirtbag!” many, many, many times during the first round of the playoffs. But in truth, it was always when he’d made some amazing save, robbing my beloved Canucks of much needed goals. You won’t often hear me say something positive about an opposing team, but even I have to admit that Marty Turco played one hell of a series.

Turco broke the Stars’s franchise record for a shutout streak at 165:45. Ed Belfour held the previous Stars record with 164:35. Turco’s three shutouts also tied an NHL record for most shutouts in a seven game series.

Props to you, Marty Turco!


In related news, Melanie apologized for getting me a cursed chocolate bar.



et cetera