Not To Be Trusted With Knives











{December 15, 2008}   Brilliant Things I’ve Managed To Do In The Last 24 Hours

Brilliant1 things I’ve managed to do in the last 24 hours:

  • Broke the zipper on my dress pants.  And then, in my frustration to make the zipper unstick, I yanked it so hard that I broke the zipper completely in half and tore the seam right down the crotch.
  • Nearly left my purse on the bus.
  • Burned myself. Twice.
  • Ruined my fellow vegetarian co-workers love of Caesar salad by revealing that 99% of the time, Caesar dressing has anchovies in it.3
  • Went to upload my application to a workshop that I really, really wanted to attend, the application for which was due today, only to discover that they want three reference letters, also due today.  This one totally wasn’t my fault, as needing references was not mentioned anywhere on their public website (you know, like where it says what is to be included in the application!). Only once you register for their online application system do you find out the references are needed.  But still, if I’d registered for their application system earlier, I would have known.  This especially sucks because I spent a fair bit of time crafting my letter and tailoring my CV4.
  • Writing two blog postings today, instead of marking the papers that I really should be marking!

On the plus side, I got an assist on the only goal my team scored yesterday. Go me!

1Where by “brilliant” I mean “not brilliant.”
2Thankfully, I was still at home at this point!
3 In my defence, I didn’t mean to ruin her love of Caesar salad. I just asked the waiter at lunch if the Caesar dressing had anchovies in it (since there is always that 1%a of places where it doesn’t) and my co-worker was all “What? Anchovies?” and then I was all “Oh yeah, Caesar salad dressing almost always has anchovies in it” and she was all “Oh no! But that’s my go-to meal when there’s nothing vegetarian on the menu! I LOVE Caesar salad.” And then I felt like crap. She said that she was happy that I’d told her, because she really doesn’t want to be inadvertently eating fish, but I still bad. So I told her that I’d give her my recipe for anchovy-free Caesar dressing and now I totally can’t find that recipe.
      aOK, I’m totally making up these stats.  Basically, I mean “most of the time” and “not very often, but sometimes.”  But numbers sound so much better. Also, my dad makes up stats to support his arguments all the time and 85% of children who have a parent that makes up stats will go on to make up stats too.
4On the bright side for this one, at least I have a head start on the application for the 2010 workshop!

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Kalev says:

I think that 90% of the people who put their faith in science 100% of the time like to make up statistics for at least 50% of the stuff they say to sound 120% more legitimate and authoritative.

As the famous quotation says, “Lies, damned lies, and statistics!”

That thing for the workshop is the most complete and utter bullcrap I’ve ever heard! I mean, I didn’t formally fill in all the online graduate school applications until pretty much the day they were due and if they had then sprung super-extra requirements (and 3 letters of reference is definitely “super-extra”) on me, I would have flown to wherever they were located and burned them to the ground! I think you’re better off missing the workshop–if the people organizing it are that moronic, I can’t imagine it’s that good. Because honestly, 95% of people leave these things to the last minute, and by 95% I mean me (in addition to you)… and most of the people I know.



Beth says:

I’m sure that the people who design the website aren’t the ones who run the workshop, though. Blame I.T.!!



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