Not To Be Trusted With Knives











{November 25, 2008}   My Terrible Memory

Exhibit A:

I appear to have forgotten both my blanket (which I brought to keep me warm on the plane) and a jar of honey (from the bees that live on the farm where my dad keeps his birds) at my sister’s place. I realized that I forgot my blanket in the car on the way to the airport yesterday (it was too late to turn back to get it), but I have only just now discovered the missing honey.  I remember wrapping the jar in a plastic bag (just in case it broke in my luggage), but it is most definitely not in my luggage now. I’m sure it’s sitting on the coffee table at my sister’s place.

Exhibit B:

Today at work, I was chatting with a co-worker in her office about logic model development and I told her that, having just recently created an evaluation plan using a logic model, I had a few documents that I could send her to give her a bit of an introduction to the topic.  But I was on my way to go grab a cup of tea, so I said, “I’ll email those when I get back to my office.” And then I switched my ring from my middle finger to my index finger.  It’s sort of like the old tie-a-string-around-your-finger to remember something trick.  I knew that if I didn’t have my ring on the wrong finger, emailing those documents would completely slip from my mind before I even got to the caf to get that cup of tea.

Exhibit B:

Tonight while cooking dinner, which consisted of French fries and a wrap with refried beans/tomatoes/green onions/lettuce/yogurt, I decided that I would also roast a squash for my lunch tomorrow.  So I put the fries in the toaster oven and the squash in the real oven.  The fries needed to cook for 20 mins, so I set the microwave timer to beep for that.  And then I set my stopwatch function on my watch to time the squash, which needed about 45 mins.  In retrospect, I should have set the timer function on my watch to beep after 45 mins, rather than setting the stopwatch to count up, thinking “oh, I’ll look at my stopwatch and once it gets to 45 mins, I’ll remember to take the squash out of the oven.  After 20 mins, I ate my delicious dinner while watching clips of the Colbert Report on the Comedy Network website AND PROMPTLY FORGOT I WAS COOKING THE SQUASH.  An hour and 45 minutes later, I was wondering why my apartment still smelled like French fries. And then I went into the kitchen to wash the dinner dishes and make some tea.  Once there, I wondered why it was so damn hot in my kitchen.  And then I yelled, “Oh my god, I forgot the squash!!”  My apartment didn’t smell like French fries, it smelled like cooking squash. Poor, poor burnt squash.

On a related note, researchers at UBC have recently discovered a new brain disorder called “developmental topographical disorientation,” in which people have trouble orienting themselves in an environment (also known as topographagnosia) despite any apparent brain damage or other cognitive impairments.  It means they get lost really easily.  I’m pretty sure I have this, as anyone who has ever been with me on a trip will attest.  And by “trip”, I mean pretty much anywhere outside my house.  The researchers have created a website and I was going to take their “Test Your Skills” test to see if I have D.T.D., but it’s not up on their site yet.  It says to come back in a few weeks.  I intend to, but I’m pretty sure I’ll forget before then.

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Raul says:

If you ever get lost, call me. I’m good at navigating this city.



Jorge says:

Hopefully she gets lost in Vancouver, Raul, otherwise your navigation skills might not be so handy.

Beth: [Calls Raul on the phone.] Raul? I’m lost!
Raul: Well you’ve called just the guy. Where are you?
Beth: West Georgia.
Raul: That’s easy. Where do you want to go?
Beth: Canada.
Raul: I don’t understand. I thought you said you were on West Georgia?
Beth: No. I’m in West Georgia. USA.
Raul:



JB says:

And plus it it looks like that by the time you got to the 2nd Exhibit B, you’d already forgotten about the 1st Exhibit B.

You need help.



Stacia says:

Yeah, why are there two Exhibit Bs and no Exhibit C? Maybe you just need a nap.



chris says:

The second Exhibit B concerns me as well. Maybe you really do need a nap. I find that when I start forgetting things, one of the best things is to sleep 16 hours or more (not necessarily consecutive) in a 24 hour period.



Beth says:

Wow. You know it’s bad when a woman with a two week old baby tells you that you need a nap!



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