Not To Be Trusted With Knives











{October 28, 2008}   Resident Expert

I seem to get a lot of requests for advice.  And on a lot of different topics.  Often things I know little to nothing about.  Things I’ve been asked for my “expert” advice on in the last week alone include:

  • statistical analysis
  • relationships
  • grammar
  • copyright law
  • directions
  • fashion
  • PowerPoint
  • Photoshop
  • website design costs
  • authorship
  • hockey equipment
  • spas

I’ve managed to diagnose the cause of two different people’s nausea (iron overdose in both cases) and provided expert opinion on weight loss strategies (No, that supplement won’t make you lose weight. And, no, neither will caffeine.  Have you considered exercise and looking at what you eat?  Also, you totally don’t need to lose weight).

And all of this doesn’t even include either of my actual jobs, both of which involving teaching things to people and advising them about things on which I’m actually an expert.

Lest I get an oversized ego re: my brilliance, I have to share this story with you.  Ihad an IM chat with one of the people asking me for advice and it took me a full NINE minutes1 before I realized I wasn’t talking to the person I thought I was talking to.  My friend Theresa (with an “a”) IM’d me on Google Talk to ask some questions about a budget for a grant she was writing. And I fully thought I was talking to my friend Therese (with an “e”). Theresa lives in Vancouver. Therese lives in Toronto. In my defense, the picture in Google Talk was a full body shot, so all I could see that it was a person with long dark hair, which could just as easily have been a picture of Therese.  And the questions that Theresa was asking were completely things that Therese could feasibly have been asking.

Anyway. This post appears to have no actual point2.  But I just felt the need to share. So, um, yeah.  Got any questions on which I’m not an expert that I can answer for ya?

1I have the IM chat transcript, so I know that it was actually NINE minutes before I clued in.
2I say that like my posts usually have points.

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Raul says:

My tummy hurts since 4 days ago. What’s happening to me?



Kelly says:

What the HECK should I be for Halloween?



Beth says:

@Raul – I think you are suffering from no-MacBookPro-itis. Or maybe it was that thing you ate 4 days ago.

@Kelly – It’s easy to make a Halloween costume. Just take the word “naughty” and put it in front of a profession. Naughty Nurse. Naughty School Teacher. Naughty Database Administrator. Simple!



Jorge says:

Good to see your new super-eyes are working well.

😉



Kalev says:

@Beth: “Naughty Database Adminstrator” is like… one of the most hilarious things ever! Oh yeah… collect that garbage! JOIN those tables! Crosstabulate, baby… crossTABuLATE!



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