Not To Be Trusted With Knives

{October 22, 2008}   Battle of the Gum Packages

For some unknown reason, I’ve been a wee bit enthralled with gum packages lately.  Both of these, in particular, caught my eye in the grocery store:

I’m not sure what the “5” is supposed to mean on the “Cobalt” gum packages. And is it coincidence that “5” and “S” look so much alike?  Um, probably.

When you open up the package of the Cobalt gum, it’s got funkalicious circles inside. And it kind of opens up like a cigarette package, which I like, although I know I shouldn’t.

Cobalt gum scores points because I like the funky blue colour and the intense minty goodness, but it loses points because it was the culprit in my recent tongue injury.

The Stride package also kinda feels like a pack of smokes when you open them:

But see the part on the inside of the package that says “A ridiculously long lasting idea”?  Makes you think that this will be gum with long lasting flavour, no?

No. This gum loses its flavour more quickly than any other gum1. Longevity FAIL!

And thus concludes my thoughts on gum packaging.

1except Double Bubble. But Double Bubble loses its flavour notoriously fast. Plus, you are happy when Double Bubble loses its flavour, because its flavour is barfy.

Kalev says:

You forgot to say how Five, the gum, has ridiculously long lasting flavour, unlike Stride, which false advertises. It’s like they mixed up the marketing campaigns or something.

I’d be fascinated to know if the whole “resembles slick cigarettes packaging” thing is on purpose or not.

chris says:

I’ve not tried either of these two, but that over-packaging better be recyclable. And Double Bubble always gave me an exceptional splitting headache.

Darren says:

Coincidentally, I recently wrote about gum packages:

Beth says:

@Kalev – Yes, I should have pointed out that the “intense minty goodness” is actually long lasting.

@Chris – Both of those packages are made of paper and so are recyclable. (Unlike the campaign brochures of a certain Conservative* Party of Canada which are made out of something that resembles paper, but can’t be paper since paper is flammable and those brochure were most certainly not!)

Beth says:

@Darren – Was that gum actually less intense than previous Trident gums, as advertised? Inquiring minds want to know!

I was walking home late after a gig at GM Place and there was a truck with a projector on the back pumping an image of Five’s logo on the side of Sears from Robson street. I didn’t have a clue what the hell this massively pink number on the side of the building was for until they handed me some individual pieces as I walked by. Very strange at nearly midnight on Robson Square because there really wasn’t that many people around, and I’ve since then be turned off to their product.

Beth says:

@John – Um, yeah, that’s a little weird. Perhaps it was someone trying to poison people by pretending to be gum marketers. Did you try the gum they were handing out?

Kelly says:

The gum with the shortest flavour lifespan is Juicy Fruit. You get like 10 chomps of watermelonny bliss, and then suddenly it feels like you’re chewing on an elastic.
I agree the ‘5’ gum is longer lasting than those cocky Strides. ‘Cobalt’ is the flavour, btw, not the brand name. ‘5’ also comes in other flavours, which do not have funky blue packaging, but instead funky pink, or funky green.

I am obsessed with gum.

Beth says:

@Kelly – ‘5’ is the name of the brand? That’s a stupid name! And ‘cobalt’ is the flavour? Cobalt is not a flavour! It’s the 27th element on the periodic table of the elements!

Kalev says:

Oh Beth, Beth, Beth… you’re such a failed consumer. (Can you tell I’m trying to write for my Consumers and Consumption class?) You can tell “5” is the brand and “cobalt” is the flavour by the fact on the other-coloured packages of the same gum, the 5 stays the same but the cobalt disappears. 😛

Cobalt is as much a flavour as “blue” or “blue raspberry” is (if you ask me).

The other “flavours” of 5 are: (get this)


Hey… there’s FIVE of them… that might be the only thing that explains the name of the gum. Because otherwise, I’m clueless.

You have to wonder what Elixir, Lush, and Rain taste like. I mean I can guess Flare would be cinnamon-y (although I could be TOTALLY wrong–that’s what I would guess, though). Oh I’m right… if you click on the various flavours on their website, they explain what they are.

Cobalt = peppermint
Flare = cinnamon
Elixir = berry (you have to love how they don’t tell you what kind of berry/ies… common these days)
Lush = tropical (again, tropical what? because papaya tastes like ass)
Rain = spearmint (I guess Rain would be Vancouver’s signature flavour)

I need sleep, obviously.

Beth says:

@Kalev – You are assuming that I noticed that there are other-coloured packages of the same gum. Honestly, I didn’t notice that.

Comments are closed.

et cetera
%d bloggers like this: