Not To Be Trusted With Knives











{September 21, 2008}   This week’s installment of my BC Premiers series…

… is being preempted by need to get a heck of a lot of work done tonight. Long story short: running a big event for work tomorrow, need to get a whole bunch of ideas for a workshop from my head to a PowerPoint file. And need to be there tomorrow by 7:30 in the a.m.  So you’ll just have to wait until next week to learn about the late great Andrew Charles Elliott, 4th Premier of the great province of British Columbia. I know. There, there. There, there.

To soften this devastating disappointment, I will share with you the funny things I read on the waiver I had to sign to play hockey at UBC:

ASSUMPTION OF RISKS I am aware that playing ice hockey and being involved in the Todd Ice Hockey League program involves many risks, dangers and hazards including, but not limited to: impact and collision with other players or officials; playing with or without non-certified officials; impact with objects or equipment used in connection with playing ice hockey; changes in the type of surface and the condition of each surface, including ice surface, hallways, shower facilities, stairs and change rooms; loss of balance;

Loss of balance?  Really?  We have to sign to say that we know we might lose our balance? On ice?  On skates? In a game where people push each other?  I know that lawyers write these things, but it feels like that’s something that should go without saying.

… failure to play safely within one’s own ability;

Again, it should be obvious that I am responsible for my own playing.  Do people really try to sue someone on the grounds that, “I wasn’t playing safely within my own ability!!”?

failure to play against others of equal stature or ability; theft; consumption of food and drink, whether made by professionals or by non-professionals; negligence of other participants; and NEGLIGENCE ON THE PART OF THE UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIA OR THEIR STAFF INCLUDING THE FAILURE ON THE PART OF THE UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIA OR THEIR STAFF TO SAFEGUARD OR PROTECT ME FROM THE RISKS, DANGERS AND HAZARDS OF PLAYING IN THE TODD ICE HOCKEY LEAGUE.

Again, I know it’s lawyers that write these things, but wouldn’t it just be better if people weren’t negligent?  And I didn’t add the ALL CAPS here.  Doesn’t that make it feel like they are telling you “WE PLAN TO BE NEGLIGENT!!!”?

And finally, doesn’t point #5 below seem incongruous with points 1-4?

1. TO WAIVE ANY AND ALL CLAIMS that I have or may in the future […] 2. TO HOLD HARMLESS AND INDEMNIFY THE RELEASEES from any and all liability for any damage to property of or personal injury{…] n3. This Agreement shall be effective and binding upon my heirs, next of kin, […] 4. This Agreement and any rights, duties and obligations as between the parties to this Agreement shall be governed by and interpreted solely in accordance with the laws of the Province of British Columbia and no other jurisdiction; and 5. Any litigation involving the parties to this Agreement shall be brought solely within the Province of British Columbia[…]

So points #1-4 say that I can’t sue anybody at UBC if anything happens to me at the arena, whether it’s during the game or if I slip in the shower, and nor can my family or friends should I happen to die… but point#5 says that if I sue, it has to be in BC.  Huh?

OK, I hope that little bit of waiver-y goodness can tide you over until tomorrow night when I’ll blog something much better.  No, really.  And wish me luck with my big event tomorrow!!

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