Not To Be Trusted With Knives

{July 21, 2008}   Seat Guru – Infant Not Included

While waiting for *4 hours*1 for my flight home from SFO yesterday, during which I was (a) Twittering with another BlogHer attendee who was also stuck at SFO, (b) talking on Skype, and (c) being looked at like I was crazy because I was talking loudly to my computer, I was also checking out whether I would have a good seat on the plane, should I ever actually get on the plane, using Seat Guru. Seat Guru provides you with all kinds of useful tidbits about your particular seat on any given plane, including:

  • Detailed seat map graphics.
  • In-depth seat specific comments denoting seats with limited recline, reduced legroom, mis-aligned windows.
  • Color-coding to help identify superior and substandard seats.
  • In-seat power port locations.
  • Galley, lavatory, Exit Row and closet locations.

The Guru informed me that my seat was neither particular good, nor particularly bad, that I would have a personal TV screen and an in-seat power port. However, I have to say that there was some false advertising with respect to the in-flight amenities:

My seat did not, in fact, come with an infant.

1It was delayed 2 hrsa, but I was already there well in advance of my flight, because you never know how long it will take to get through security.
aFirst it was delayed due to weather, then it was further delayed because the “front flap” on the plane “wasn’t working.”

Front flap sounds like the thing that covers the fly on a pair of jeans.

Darren says:

Seat Guru rocks. It has delivered unto me the exit row many times.

Beth says:

@Chris – Ya, you think they could have at least tried to use a term that sounded more technical. “I’m sorry folks, but the tracking schlicter is malfunctioning.”

@Darren – Ah yes, you tall ones require the extra legroom. Us shorties, not so much. I was in an exit row on a recent flight from Toronto and I could fully stretch my legs out.

Kalev says:

I hate the exit row! No wait, I hate the row right behind the divider where you can’t put your luggage under the seat in front of you.

That’s so bad that your seat did not come with an infant. 😛

I think you must have the very worst plane/flying luck I’ve EVER heard of. There is always something going wrong with your planes mechanically. Please never fly from Sydney to LA with a heroin addict, a fugitive, and a lottery winner. That would be bad.

Beth says:

@Kalev – Um, I’m totally missing whatever movie you are referencing (I’m assuming it is a movie. Wait, was that Snakes on a Plane, the greatest movie ever about a plane with snakes on it?)

Erin says:

Beth, I think Kalev is talking about the best show ever–Lost! For all those seatmap junkies/Lost lovers out there, check out Oceanic Air flight 815’s seat plan at

Beth says:

D’oh! Of course. And I actually watch Lost, so I totally should have picked up on that.

Kalev says:

@Beth: oh my GOSH how could you NOT get that reference?! That’s like… unimaginable! Just for that I’m going to dump all sorts of spoilers all over you about Lost.

@everyone: Beth does not just “watch” Lost… she refuses to let me tell her anything that’s upcoming on the show because she’s so crazy about it. (I read entertainment news so I hear about things a little bit in advance of actually seeing the episodes.)

Beth says:

@Kalev – Well, “lottery winner” isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when I think of Hurley (even though he is one), and I don’t usually think of Kate as a fugitive (even though she is one), and Charlie’s been gone a while. And you didn’t even say “doctor” and Jack & Locke are really the main characters and you didn’t mention either of those. (Note: I would have said “you know I have a bad memory” but then you’d write a diatribe about why I shouldn’t say that, so instead I decided to blame it on you! =P )

Also, there’s a reason they are called SPOILERS! Normal people don’t want to read about what’s going to happen in upcoming episodes because it SPOILS the surprise!

Double also, you won’t drop spoilers ‘cuz you know I’ll never talk to you again and you love hanging out with me way too much to let that happen =)

Kalev says:

@Beth: don’t try to make it seem like I’m not “normal,” Bethie-baby. I would say you’re actually in the minority about that, but I have no stats to back it up. However, I’m pretty sure you have no stats to back up your claim, so nyah-nyah-nyah.

As for you not realising who I was talking about, you’re full of it, missy. You LOVE Charlie, most (all?) of Kate’s backstory is about her being a fugitive, and Hurley’s thing with the numbers is all about winning the lottery. Plus I ALSO said Sydney to LA, so really, no excuses are gonna wash. So you can blame it on memory or me but we all know it was the Flying Spaghetti Monster makes your brain all fuzzy.

And you’re right, I won’t drop spoilers, but only so I can continue to feel superior about having some idea of what’s going to happen next. (Note I said “some idea.” Spoilers are all about knowing a few things, not about knowing EVERYTHING. Knowing everything would make watching the show somewhat pointless, although there’s a lot to be said for the performances of good actors even if you know what’s going to happen.)

Kacey says:

It was great meeting you at the BlogHer newbie mixer. The SF airport was crazy, wasn’t it? I did NOT know about seat guru…and I consider myself fairly travel techie. Thanks for the link! Sorry you didn’t get the infant…

Beth says:

Great to meet you too, Kacey! Glad to hear you made it home from SFO in one piece! Enjoy Seat Guru!

chris says:

I used Seat Guru on my holidays. I didn’t change any seat assignments with it though. One thing I neglected to notice was that not only was I assigned a window seat on my flight out, I was assigned an exit row seat! I picked window seats for both segments of the returning flight but lost one due to a late arrival on the first segment. But the plane I was switched to was an A320, so I got one of those nifty seat-back consoles. And there was considerably more legroom than the first segment.

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