Not To Be Trusted With Knives

{July 2, 2008}   Stuck at the Airport

Oh three hour delays at Toronto airport, how I hate you. And I’m way too cheap to pay the $9.95 it would cost to log onto the internets, so I’m writing this in BlogDesk to publish when I get home.

My flight was supposed to be at 4 p.m., so I left my sister’s place at 2, in case traffic was bad, which it wasn’t, so I’ve been here since 2:30. And around 3:30 they announced that our “aircraft is unserviceable” and that they were trying to locate us a new one. Which they finally did – a plane scheduled to arrive around 5:30, which we can board around 6 to leave at 6:40. I suppose it’s better that we found out the plane was unserviceable now, rather than finding it out when we fall out of the sky. But it’s still not fun. I’ve been filling my time with reading a book1, chatting on the phone, sending text messages, eating french fries2, chain drinking diet colas, and lamenting the things that I realized I forgot at my sister’s place3.

And did I mention that my niece is the cutest thing EVER? More cute things that she said included:

  • While reading The Cat in the Hat (which, for the uninitiated, is a story about two little kids who are at home while their Mother is out and a Cat in a Hat (“Ooh, he’s a troublemaker!” my niece says”) shows up with tricks and games that make a great big mess in the house), at the part just before the Mother gets home: “It’s not safe for children to be left home alone!”
  • “I see a SMART CAR!” – every single time we saw a Smart car.
  • After I told her I had to leave today, because I have to go back home, she asked, “Why?” So I said that I had to go back to work. And she says, “Oh. Can you come back after work?”
  • “Mommy, why are you yelling at that man?” after my sister told the jackass at the butterfly conservatory in no uncertain terms that he was ignorant because he kept touching – and thus, killing – the butterflies, completely disregarding the “do not touch the butterflies” signs.
  • “Let’s show up the road!” (instead of “let’s get this show on the road.”)

Probably the best was what she said yesterday at lunch. My sister has this technique where, if my niece is misbehaving, she tells her “If you don’t start doing what you are told/stop being rude/whatever the misbehaviour is, we will take away your gum/toy/trip to the park/whatever thing she really wants for one week.” And that works pretty well, because she learns that there are consequences to her actions and that she has a choice: behave properly, or lose out on something you like. So we are at a restaurant for lunch yesterday and the waiter gives Madeline a lollipop. But we are on our way home for naptime, so my sister says that she can have the lollipop after her nap, not before. And M is like, “But I can ride my bike holding on with one hand and lick my lollipop with the other hand” (clearly not appreciating that the issue here is the sugar before naptime). So Nancy says “no” to that and Madeline gets very serious and says, “Mommy, you are NOT listening to my good idea. If you don’t listen to my good idea, I will take NO naps for one week.” Oooh, that kid is a troublemaker! And very, very clever!

1Infinite Jest, which I’m still reading but getting very, very close to finishing. For reals.
2Because every restaurant in this airport appears to have the yucky kind of veggie burger. And I already bought a veggie sandwich from Tim Horton’s to eat on the plane, so I didn’t want to have two of those in one day.
3A pair of socks, a wallet my mom gave me, the diet Pepsi I meant to bring to drink in the cab on the way to the airport, and, most distressingly, my phone charger4
4I can charge it up using my USB synching cable, but it’s mch slower than the real charger

et cetera