Not To Be Trusted With Knives

{February 25, 2008}   Hockey News

This week’s installment of my Prime Ministerial series will have to wait until tomorrow because (a) I’ve already blogged a hellava lot this weekend and I’ll have to actually do research on the next P.M.1 and I can’t really justify spending the time it would take to blog that today and (b) I have far more exciting *breaking news* for you!

Wait for it… wait for it….

I scored the game winning goal in my hockey game tonight! My long, long scoreless streak is over! And, to make it ever sweeter, I got an assist2 on the first goal… on the *same shift*! We jumped out onto the ice and scored quickly, then took the next face off, got it into their zone, my centre shot the puck and I crashed the net to pick up the juicy rebound. Seriously, the rebound trickled out from the goalie, no more than half a foot in front of the goal line, and the goalie had gone down on the left side of the net on the initial shot, leaving me with *half* the net open, the puck right there in front of the open space and I was already skating right at it. All I had to do was tap it in. It’s what we like to call “picking up the garbage.” And you can just call me the “garbage woman”… er, “sanitation engineer.” Honestly, I don’t care if my goal is pretty3 or not… it still counts on the score sheet and it still wins the game!

I just checked the team stats and my last goal was on Sept 30… and it was also a game winning goal and it was against the same team as I scored on tonight. I guess I just have it in for them or something.

1Because, truly, I have no idea who the 3rd Prime Minister of Canada was. There, I said it!
2Fingers crossed that the refs actually counted it as my assist!
3I have the worst shot in the known world and so my goals are never pretty. What I lack in ability, I make up for in effort. My shot might suck, buy my positioning is good and sometimes just being in the right place at the right time is all it takes. Good things happen when you go to the net!

Dave says:

Nice work! I’ve never had the honour of the game winning goal, not is it likely that I ever will.

And hey–a goal is a goal. We won our last game 3-2 and EVERY goal was a garbage goal. One actually bounced off the goalie’s helmet and then rolled down his back and into the net. Ugly or not: I’ll take it.

Kalev says:

With respect to Prime Ministers, if you go by the American system (wherein Grover Cleveland [no relation to Elmo] is both the 22nd and 24th President of the USA because he [and only he, of all American Presidents] served two non-consecutive terms), then John A. MacDonald was the 3rd Prime Minister of Canada. Of course that would be somewhat nonsensical given that for someone to use the US system for covering Canadian Prime Ministers would be blasphemy. It would also require you to make an insane number of entries for Mackenzie King, where insane == 3. (Please note I use == and not = because I am a computer scientist. *grin*)

As for the hockey babble, I didn’t really understand it, but I’m glad you scored a goal. And quit falling back on impostor syndrome to minimise your contributions to your team–as you rightly state, a goal is a goal and if you hadn’t gotten your goal, maybe you guys wouldn’t have won. And as we know from capitalism, winning is what it’s all about. Your shot may suck but your position is obviously sweet. Yay Team Beth!

Beth says:

@kalev – Yeah, why the hell would I use the American system? I’m using the highly technical system at the Wikipedia List of Canadian Prime Ministers.

Kalev says:

Ah ha ha ha… I have added my website to my profile so I can use your blog to drive traffic to me!

[…] “Dr. Beth”, give yourself a gold star! We won 8-0 and the first goal was scored in my patented picking-up-the-garbage-off-a-rebound style. We’ve started calling the act of going to the net to wait for the rebound “being in […]

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