Not To Be Trusted With Knives

{December 11, 2007}  
McD’s Newest Ad Platform: Report Cards

So McDonald’s is advertising on kids’ report cards now. Wow.

{December 11, 2007}   Second Only to Sex….

… that was how the goalie who played for our team last night described hockey1.

Also heard in our locker room yesterday:

  • Spit or swallow?2,4
  • I can eat 6 men.3, 4

We won 6-0, after losing the past two weeks (our first two losses of the season, after 9 straight wins). And *I* got an assist. I managed to get open in front, took a pass from the centre and shot a mighty shot6 which the goalie just barely managed to stop… it was too hot for her to handle and she let it rebound, a rebound that was then picked up by the other winger who shot it in the net. And the crowd7 went wild.

This entire posting was not just a lame excuse to talk about my assist, why do you ask?

1although she did also say something to the effect of “my husband would kill me if I said hockey is better than sex,” which makes one wonder, really.
2This was allegedly in reference to the Skittles gum that was being passed around the dressing room before the game. Gum which I, upon reading the label and seeing that it contained shellac5, declined to chew.
3This was allegedly in reference to gingerbread men. Allegedly.
4For the record, it wasn’t me who said either of these.
5So I just learned something new! I didn’t want to eat shellac because I have memories of spraying it on paintings in art class as a kid to preserve them. But when I just read that Wikipedia entry, I saw that it’s made from bugs! Ick! Glad I took a pass on the squished bug gum!
6“Mighty” may be translated as “I actually shot it at the goalie”
7There may or may not have been a crowd that may or may not have gone wild.

Photo by notanartist on Flickr

et cetera