Not To Be Trusted With Knives

{October 23, 2007}   The One That Got Away

As you can tell from the top the screen, my blog kinda needs a new name. I’ve never been good at naming things. As a kid, I had a stuffed bunny rabbit named Bunny, a stuffed frog named Froggy, a stuffed puppy dog named Puppy, and, believe it or not, a stuffed penguin named Pengy1. Probably the low point in my naming things career came when my sister and I got this set of stuffed teddy bears with movable limbs; she had the big one, I had the little one. Their names? Mr. Movable Bear and Baby Mr. Movable Bear. My one great shining moment in naming something occurred in 2004 when I came up with a brilliant title for this article, but the instructor of the course for which I wrote that paper was not a Kubrick fan and thus my moment of naming-ability glory came crashing down.

My blog has been nameless for quite some time. I briefly tried out Total Perspective Vortex early this year, but it didn’t stick. As you can probably tell, the only way this blog with have a name other than Bloggy is if I steal something from film or literature. But I’m OK with that, if only I could find something that I liked.

And then along came Infinite Jest. I’ve been reading IJ for about a thousand years now, ever since *somebody*2 recommended it to me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a *fantastic* book, just very, very long and quite dense, so it’s been taking me a while to read3. As I was reading, a great name for my blog occurred to me when I read the following description:

“The monologues seem both free-associative and intricately structured, not unlike nightmares. There’s no telling what’ll be up on a given night. If there’s one even remotely consistent theme it’s maybe [hockey]4.”

That’s a description of Madame Psychosis’s radio show, but don’t you think it fits my blog perfectly? Don’t you think I should change my blog name to “Madame Psychosis”?

Unfortunately, I appear to have missed the boat. By 4 years.

So, instead, I’ve decided to use the name Madame Psychosis for one of my other nameless things – my laptop. I brought Madame Psychosis to work today, because my work computer, which is currently nameless5, is a freaking piece of crap.

1I still have all of these stuffed animals, except Pengy. I don’t know what happened to Pengy. Poor Pengy.
2You know who you are.
3I guess if there is ever a good time to be reading a really, really long book that takes you forever to get through, it’s when the library workers go on strike for three months and counting…
4the real phrase here may or may not have been “film and film cartridges” rather than “hockey”
5although I can think of a few choice names for it sometimes

et cetera