Not To Be Trusted With Knives

{June 26, 2007}   Sick

Who the hell catches a cold during the summer? Me, apparently.

I was supposed to have a work event to attend tonight, but it was cancelled. Which turned out to be a good thing, since my throat has been killing me all day, and now I have a headache/backache/shoulderache/general malaise. So, instead of having to go out with my colleagues, I came home and took a nap. Got up and went to the drug store. Came back, put on my PJs and hopped back in bed. And now here I sit in my toasty warm bed, typing this on my laptop while I sip away at my “Hot Lemon Relief”1, glad that I don’t have epilepsy, high blood pressure, diabetes, glaucoma, heart, liver, thyroid or lung diseases, including asthma, bladder neck obstruction, stenosing peptic ulcer, pyloroduodenal obstruction, enlarged prostate, or pregnancy2, and hoping that I don’t experience the potential side effects of excitability, nervousness, restlessness, sleeplessness, dizziness, palpitations or late onset albinoism3. I was surprised to see “drowsiness” listed as a potential side effect – isn’t that half the reason you take this stuff – to help you fall into merciful, merciful sleep? Speaking of which, I feel the drowsiness setting in, so it’s back to sleep for me. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll be feeling better and can post something more exciting.

1translation: no name brand NeoCitran.
2all contraindications to taking this drug
350 points to the first person who identifies where I stole that joke from!


Mike says:

Late Onset Albinoism is a side effect of using Vaxadrine in it’s hair loss tonic capacity.

That’s right … Vaxadrine, the only Detox, Hair Loss, Skull Health medication recommended by Dr. Stephen T Colbert, DFA

(Warning Vaxadrine is HIGHLY addictive)

Beth says:

Way to go, mike! You win 50 points! Of course, I don’t know who you are (and you have no hyperlink on your name), so I’m not sure if I should give 50 points to all mikes on earth or what. But it’s an impressive acheivement nonetheless.

Of course, you shouldn’t really be taking Vaxadrine in its hair loss tonic capacity – if you are bald, it’s becaues God enjoys looking at your scalp!

Kelly says:

If you’re cracking God funnies is it because you’re feeling better? I was staying away – hoping not to catch whatever it is you have – and will come back when you’re better.

Please be better!

Mike says:

I don’t have a blogger account and the ‘other’ identity never seems to work for me. I have added the http:\\ part so maybe it works this time.

Anyway, it’s Mike. Obligatory friend of The Jorge.

Beth says:

Hey Mike! Welcome to the world of collecting points which, as of yet, have undetermined redeemability!

I’m very impressed that you remembered which of Vaxadrine’s capacities had that particular side effect. So impressed, in fact, that I’m going to give you another 50 points. ‘cuz it’s my blog and I can do that!

Comments are closed.

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