Not To Be Trusted With Knives

{May 2, 2007}  

So I called the bank to sort out how, exactly, I’m supposed to pay for my student loans. It turns out that you need to know the secret passageway, secret handshake and secret 347-digit code to set up your online banking so you can pay your student loans. So I now have it set up that $850 will magically disappear from my account EVERY MONTH for the NEXT NINE YEARS!

Man, I need a sugar daddy. Hmm…. I hear Prince William is back on the market….

et cetera