Not To Be Trusted With Knives











{March 27, 2007}   I <3 Taylor Pyatt, again.

So, I went to the Canucks game last night and, being in the second row (i.e., up close and personal with the boys) I am *officially* re-in love with Taylor Pyatt. He’s even more beautiful in person! His piercing blue eyes are to die for! Imagine how beautiful our babies are going to be! I don’t even care if he does eat at Swiss Chalet! I can overlook that! Because it’s him, I’d even find it endearing!

OK, first things first. On the way to the game, a group of 29 teenagers all wearing Canucks paraphernalia get on bus a few stops after mine, and all the way along 4th Ave more and more people going to the game keep getting on the bus. But the time we get to the bridge to go downtown, the bus is pretty packed… and just as we are about to go over the bridge – BOOM!! “What the hell was that???” Oh, nothing big, just the freaking suspension of the bus collapsing! Aren’t they supposed to design buses so that they don’t collapse when people are on them?? So we all had to get off that bus and onto the next bus that was coming up behind us, which already had a bunch of people on it. So I was running late for meeting my friend who had the tickets to the game and decided to run to GM Place from the bus stop rather than fighting with the crowd to take the SkyTrain. Of course, I’d already run 16K that day, so my legs were none to happy about this development. But that’s how much I love my Canucks.

Fortunately, thanks to my running prowess, we made it in time to see all the pre-game fanfare. It just isn’t the same if you aren’t there to see all the flashing lights and suchlike. Oooh.. flashing lights! Highlights of the game included:

  • I was in the second freaking row!!! I was this close:
  • Henrik Sedin broke the record for most assists by a Canuck in a season with his 63rd of the year. We gave him a standing ovation and chanted his name. Because he may be fugly, but he’s a damn good player:
  • Most importantly, Taylor scored TWO goals last night… which was clearly because he was inspired by my presence. ‘Cuz he saw me there… look how freaking close he was to me:

In fact, sometimes he was ever closer! Sometimes him and another man were pressed up against each other on that glass, right in front of me. I’m just saying.

Other things of note:

  • Why do fans feel the need to yell instructions to the players? I’ll admit it, I get caught up in the game and do it myself, but do we really think that (a) they can even hear us out on the ice and (b) even if they could hear us, they’d actually listen? And do people really think yelling things like “Shoot the puck!” “Go for the puck!” and, my personal fav that I heard last night, “DO SOMETHING!!” are instructive?
  • Similarly, do people think that yelling “hey Theodore, you stink!” over and over again will really get to him? Do they not know any other verbs beside “stink”? I yelled “Hey Theodore, you are ineffective!!” just to add some variety. I should have yelled “Hey Theodore, you are an adulterous bastard with poor taste in women!” but I didn’t think of that one until it is too late:
  • What was up with the dude who yelled, “hey Tyler! Score a hat trick!!” First of all, his name is Taylor! I know, I know, “Taylor” is a girl’s name and Pyatt is 100% man, but please, try to get it right. He is the future father of my babies, after all. Secondly, do you think it hadn’t occurred to him that after scoring 2 goals, it would be good to score a third one? For the record, I think that by that point he was just so overcome by my beauty that he was unable to score that much-needed third goal.
  • I want the job being one of the girls who skate around and shovel the ice during the TV time outs. I like skating. I like going to Canucks game. I have long hair. I think that makes me qualified for the position. Does anyone know how you apply for this job??
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