Not To Be Trusted With Knives











There’s a lot of pressure that comes with having a Ph.D. People expect you to know stuff. And they expect that you won’t go around doing stupid things. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to do airheaded things… often. For example, I discovered yesterday that I had made a pot of tea the day before and then forgot to drink it. Apparently, I just made a pot of tea and then it completely slipped my mind not only that I had made the tea, but that I had even wanted the tea to begin with! I regularly go to the kitchen and then forget why I went in there. Or I open up a computer program and then can’t remember what I opened it for.

Other airheaded things I have done of late* include:

And anytime I do one of these airheaded things, someone will inevitably say, “Ph.D., eh? I guess they give those out to just anyone!” So, for the record, I hereby present a list of things that I do not have my Ph.D. in:

  • remembering who I have told certain stories, even if I’ve already told them said story 3 or more times
  • remembering people’s names
  • direction, sense thereof
  • maturity
  • acting my age
  • looking my age
  • English grammar*

Also, here is a list of things that I should have a Ph.D. in:

*if anyone can remember other airheaded things that I’ve done, please feel free to share in the comment section!
**so get off my back about using the word “ain’t”, Mom!

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