Not To Be Trusted With Knives











Of late, I seem to be having trouble in the safe operation of the simple kitchen knife. And I have no fewer than three self-inflected knife wounds on my hands from the last two days. One of which spontaneously started bleeding on the bus today (and, of course, I did not have a band-aid on me. An iPod, a notebook, a travel mug, an umbrella, several pens, a book – all these things were at my disposal, but band-aids, not so much).

Now, you might be wondering, “didn’t she learn after the first time that she should be more careful? or after the second time??” I’m a scientist people! We require replication to have any confidence in anything!

Hypothesis: cutting your hand hurts.
Replications: 3.
Conclusion: I accept the hypothesis (p < 0.05*).

*sorry. The nerd in me required a statistical analysis, albeit a completely made up one.

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It has been noted in blogland that I tend to offer my “willing womb to various Canucks as their on-ice performance dictates.” After tonight’s game, in which thug-turned-goal scorer Jeff Cowan scored two goals (!), I think I need to offer to carry his babies. According to the Canucks website, his personal life is “not applicable,” so apparently I need not worry about him having a wife or girlfriend who might object. The same cannot be said of the other Canuck to whom I offer my willing womb, Daniel Sedin, as he and his wife already have a baby; Daniel won the game in the shootout, so I am obligated to offer to have his babies… at least, those of his babies which have not already been had. Interestingly, I think that Cowan kinda looks like a Sedin, just with a less bulbous head (but maybe it’s just that they are redheads and have stupid looking facial hair that makes me think that).

Left, Jeff Cowan. Right, Daniel Sedin.



et cetera