Not To Be Trusted With Knives











{February 18, 2007}   The Truth

As a wannabe member of the O.O.T.S.S.O.E.R.A.A.A.P.*, I feel it is my duty to prove that I meet their criterion of being: “mostly in agreement with the “truth.”” The truth, as stated on their aptly titled page, the Truth, (and for those of you too lazy to click on the many, many links to the word “truth” that I am littering throughout this post) is as follows:

(In no particular order)

1. Cigarettes are bad for you.

2. Men and Women are equal.

3. Global Warming is real, and (by the way) it’s all our fault.*

4. It’s not all relative.

5. Gin is better than Whiskey. Whiskey is better than Gin.

6. Intelligent Design is wrong.

7. Over consumption is a serious problem.

8. The Millenium Development Goals are worthy*.

9. Wilco is good, sometimes exceptional, but often inconsequential.

10. Shit happens (ditto for sex).

11. Creationism is silly. (also, see 6)

12. Sloths are not purple.

13. Science, for better or for worse, is all around.

At least, this is the truth as of the time at which I am writing this posting. Suggestions to changes to the truth can be made here.

This is all part of a web experiment that you can read about here… the idea is to get The Truth site to the top of the Google search for the word truth***. When I first read about this, it was at #11 and right now it’s the 4th hit when you Google “truth.” Care to play along at home? All you have to do is link the word truth to the site: http://www.scq.ubc.ca/?p=677.

Now, as for the truth itself, I have to say that I’m glad that u only requires that one be mostly in agreement with the truth. I’m down with #1-8, and with #10-13. I’m glad that they changed number 5 as I abhor gin****. But the one that I have a problem with is, obviously, #9. I was unfamiliar with Wilco, so, of course, I got my hands on some to check it out. And, alas, I find them neither “good” nor “exceptional”… but I can agree with the “inconsequential” part.

*I have emailed to apply for membership, but am still awaiting their decision as to whether or not I meet their strict membership regulations.**

**OK, I’m waiting for them to check their email and get around to updating their site. Update: I’m officially a member now! w00t!

***I’ve used the word truth so many times in this posting it has ceased to look like a real word to me. Isn’t that weird how that happens?

****Unless you are referring to the dog my family had when I was a baby who was named Gin (which one might believe by the capitalization of the word “Gin” in The Truth. I don’t remember Gin, as she died when I was just a baby, but apparently she absolutely loved me, which means that she was clearly an intelligent dog. Why my parents, who are both teetotallers, named their dogs “Brandy” and “Gin,” however, is one of life’s great mysteries.

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Dave says:

I’m pretty sure the only people who drink gin are old rummies. Which begs the question: why are they called rummies, then?



Beth says:

A lot of my friends are into the gin & tonic… I think it’s the new hipster drink or something. I think it’s the combination of two disgusting fluids into an even more disgusting concoction. Unlike the JagerBomb, which is the combination of two disgusting fluids into the tasty.beverage.ever.



Courtney-O says:

I’m with you, Beth. Gin is nasty as a beverage, but quite fun as a card game.

My Granny and I play it often. She beats me every.damn.time.



Jorge says:

Apparently Jager Bombs have stunted your use of english.

Perhaps a WhyNatte can help cure what ails you?



Kalev says:

You forgot:

“Art is more important than science.”



Beth says:

I forgot nothing. But you are more than welcome to make suggestions to add to the Truth if you are so inclined.



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