Not To Be Trusted With Knives

{January 29, 2007}   My New Calling

Today, I had my first pole dancing lesson. First of all, props to Alicia for giving me such a freaking cool birthday present! Second, a shout out goes to Tantra Fitness, where you can take lapdancing or cardio striptease classes, in addition to learning how to work the pole.

There were a lot of people at the lesson, so Alicia and I had to share a pole. Having so many people there also meant we only got to learn two moves, as the instructors came around to check out each person’s form individually…. you know, because as we each “got to know our pole,” we need individualized instruction. Once Alicia and I had perfected the first move (a swinging around the pole kinda thing), which seemed to be quite a while before the instructors got around to everyone, we decided to try it out going in the opposite direction. At first I thought I might not be an ambiturner, but I soon got the hang out it.

The second move we learned was a “transition” move. It totally threw me for a loop until I discovered that I was taking my first step with my outside foot instead of my inside foot. Silly me. After that, it was pretty easy. This move was one where you spin around so your back is to the pole, and sort of peel your body away from it, looking as sexy as you can. FYI, we discovered that having a confused “what the hell is the next step?” look on your face really takes away from the sexiness. Once we had that move down, we practised our ambiturning and combined our two moves into one natural flowing routine.

Also, as it turns out, I am a natural at pole dancing. When the instructor came around to check out our form on the first move, she told me “You are actually doing something very advanced. Most people are never able to cross their feet over like that.” So I’m thinking that I should give up on this whole scientist thing and become a pole dancing instructor. Anyone want to spring for the $100/hr it will cost for me to take pole dance instructor lesssons? I think I’d also need my own pole installed at home… you know, to practise. That’ll cost about $600 – donations to the cause are welcome!

Dave says:

For Leanne’s sister’s bachelorette party, they took her to a pole dancing lesson. Sadly, they forgot to bring a change of clothes (and her club-wear wasn’t pole appropriate.) Somehow–probably in the Lost and Found pile–they pulled together an ill-fitting outfit for her. I saw the a video that Leanne took, and it was basically Mel marching around the pole in XXXL khakis saying, “I don’t feel very sexy…” Hilarious.

Jorge says:

…you know, because as we each “got to know our pole,” we need individualized instruction….

Wow. That sounds like my teen years.

[…] pole dancing lessons. Like, a whole set of them, not just the intro […]

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